Time.

We can't turn back time no matter how badly we want it to,
there's just no turning back.
We can only move forward,
even if guilt is the only thing you feel.

I wonder, does that short paragraph above dictates how I'm feeling right now. How much can one handle all these tormenting feelings? Honestly, I have no idea. Just maybe, I can say, people will usually use words like "happy-go-lucky", "funny", "humorous" to describe, hardly and rarely will people describe me as "emo" or "negative". I mean, I have my down times and I will not always be happy, but then again, some perceptions are fixed and it's hard to change.


We keep running but our past always catch up with us. It's like a never-ending race with our past, no matter how far we've gone, we will always haunted by our past, terrible and horrible moments.. What can we do about it? Can anybody give me a definite answer, maybe nobody can..

Revival.

I've finally made the decision to  "revive" my blog after such a long time. I realized I'm just not that time of person who can really commit to anything.. I have issues with commitment and I only managed to figure it out after living for 19 years. That sounds kind of pathetic..

You know, sometimes there are things and feelings which you can never ever explain with words because those episodes are beyond words. "I understand how you feel." No, nobody understands what I'm exactly feeling, and I don't understand with 100% accuracy how another one is feeling because each of our feelings are unique. Sad, how sad and happy, how happy exactly? I can tell one person everything about me and all that I've been through, but at the end of the day, who can be the one to illustrate the intensity of each emotions of mine? When I said I don't know how to explain, I really don't for the fact that I have no idea how to convey my thoughts and put them across to someone. As bluntly as I may put it, I tend to get tired of explaining to people..

I may be seen as nonchalant and mean or even arrogant, but no, how well do you even know me in the first place? What caused me to not care anymore, you'll never know because I have this dark side that people find it hard to accept. Every single mistake that I make will result in harsh words firing at me like they know the entire story. Hell no.

"Her name is Elaine."

If the above statement is all you know, keep your comments to yourself. Comment only after you've known me well enough and honestly, there are only a few who managed to accomplish that. I'm not saying that I am a difficult person to understand, it's just that I don't open up so quickly to others. Trust, I need that. Without it, everything will just be an empty talk to me. However you want to see me as, go ahead. I did nothing wrong, I did what I should for myself. Everyone deserves to be happy, I'm not any special either.

Things get tough and rough as life continues. That's all I can say.