December.

This sounds really cliche, but then, I still wanna say it, I hope December will be a good one for me as well as for all those around me. Life was rocky for me for the past 2 months, and it really sucks because some changes are really drastic, too much for me to handle. Honestly, I can't exactly comprehend what is going wrong with me lately, and I'm sure my close friends are confused as well. Either way, I'm still trying to find the underlying meaning to all that is happening right now.

My apologies for not posting any new posts for the past few weeks, I've been awfully busy with school stuffs and work. Sigh, same old excuse, what's new? It's hard for me to find the time and energy to blog frequently, it's either I'm too busy or too tired till the extent that my brain is dead. There are simply just those times when you are so tired to even think straight and you will just end up spouting nonsense, yeah, I'm like that most of the time. I struggle to stay awake almost everyday, and yet, no matter how much sleep I get, I'm always tired. First world pains huh? Maybe it's just some teenagers problems.

To be honest, it does sucks badly when your closest friend is attached, and all you can do is just to sit there and wonder, "why the hell am I still alone?" Okay, that statement meant to be a joke. The real thing here is, everything changes overnight when someone so close to you gets attached. Let's just say, all the "used to" will have to be change to "dos and don'ts". Tough huh? There are so many things that you need to consider before saying anything, or you have to make sure that you are not gonna do anything that make your friend's partner jealous.. Sigh, it's probably one of the toughest jobs ever. I'll probably rate it 7-8 for the level of toughness this has, with 10 being the toughest. I just realized, this topic is rather depressing..

You know sometimes, I really wish I have that little push given to me or just more courage/guts so that I can do what I've been wanting to do. Just imagine, asking someone out for a movie can be such an easy task, yet, when it comes to me, a simple task like that just means that I have to contemplate for a few weeks, pick up the phone for "I don't know how many" times, and place it down for the 10000 times just because I don't have the courage to let my fingers run through the keyboard to type a sentence that seems like this: "Hey, are you free? I'm wondering if we can catch a movie together." Looks like a nice sentence, a perfectly structured sentence, but no, that sentence has other connotations to it.. Oh come on, I mean, the person who receives that text from me will probably freak out.. *pouts* I'm gonna give myself a bit more time and see if I can surpass my current courage level. I think I deserve a pat on my shoulder because I've managed to type the message out. Now now now, give me another few more hours, I just might send the text.. or maybe not.

I always have this problem of thinking how I should end every single blog post of mine.. Till now, I have yet to learn how to end it creatively, properly, appropriately, beautifully. OH FORGET IT. That's all for now, goodbye :)