FANGIRLING.

HO HO HO! I am so crazy right now! I just screamed like mad because I am watching the red carpet show for Star Awards 2012, and the reason behind my screams is ANDIE CHEN & RUI EN. My prince charming and princess! I screamed at the coffee shop earlier because it was their turn to walk on the red carpet, and I ran home from the coffee shop because I don't want to miss out any part of the red carpet show! Oh my, I think I fangirl too much at times, especially when my idols are involved! This is one crazy side of me! I can't chill right now because I am too excited, I am waiting for 7pm to come! Time needs to go faster now, I am getting impatient!

I remembered there was this once, last year if I remembered correctly, I sprained my ankle because I jumped too high and landed in some awkward manner when Rainie Yang won the award for best actress. I cried like mad! This is what happens when I get overly excited and engrossed in the award show! I can't help it, the happiness and joy are bound to be there! I am hoping that Andie can win the Best Male Actor as well as the Top 10 Most Popular Male Artistes award for tonight, and of course, Rui En to receive the Top 10 Most Popular Female Artistes as well! Pierre Png is looking good tonight too! I am waiting for 7pm to come because I want to start screaming and getting high at home again. I know my mum will kill me, but I don't care, just for one night! I should totally watch Star Awards with my friends because I have someone to gossip with and I won't feel like a lunatic screaming all by myself at home!

Okay, I am going to drink some water and head back to my award show :) have a good night everyone!





So what if you are home now, you left us a huge pile of problems to settle. 
If you are a man, stop escaping from your responsibilities. You have no idea how badly mum is suffering right now.  

Signs.

I am so in love with sign language now! It's a little confusing at times because you have to know which finger to use and which direction the finger has to move towards. It's fun and I love it when I can interact with the lecturer and my friends using sign language! The lecturer is cute, she always have the ability to integrate humor to the lessons. I love lessons like this, at least there's laughter! I am so amazed by myself, I broke my personal record for completing a test. I took less than 3 minutes to finish my sign language test today when I was panicking like mad earlier before attending the lecture. It's pretty easy :)

I am currently stoning in my room and it's burning like mad! I shall go and revise on my crisis intervention lecture notes soon :)





IthinkIamgettingtooclosetosomeoneagain, ifIdon'tstop, historywillrepeatitselfagain... 
Ihavenoideawhattodonow.. Avoidancewillnotsolveanything.

Yada Yada.

I know I haven't been posting for about a week or so, and sorry for that. You know, whenever school starts, it means that I have tons of projects and revision to do. I'm sorry for not posting for so long, I will try to post more often. I know some people are very eager to read my blog post! JUST KIDDING!
Anyway, there's really nothing much for me to blog about, so I will just post about random things that had happened over the past week. Oh, just to say, I am currently doing project in school with my group of crazy and funny friends in the library. If you are in school now, and want to find me, you can spot me by a green mickey mouse shirt. It's super adorable!

First of all, I am going to share about the BMI taking which took place yesterday. I was kinda like panicking last week ever since my lecturer told us about the BMI taking. It's like I've gained so much weight that I don't want to know what my BMI is, it's a nightmare, somehow... I started adopting a healthier lifestyle about a week ago, I'm eating only what I should and skipping all those junk food (although I still do eat at times to handle my hunger pangs), and amazingly, I lose 4kg. I shall not reveal my weight here, too sensitive, if you wanna know, come and look for me and I shall tell you! I'm so glad that my BMI is still within the healthy range! I'm happy, so it's all cool. I went jogging yesterday because I don't want to take the weight loss for granted, and surprisingly, I managed to jogged for 20 minutes or so when I assumed that I can't even make it through 10 minutes. Sometimes, I am really amazed by myself!

Moving on, the annual club crawl for my school (just in case you don't know which school I am studying in, I am studying in NYP) happened 2 days ago, and lasted for 2 days. In short, it was from Wednesday to Thursday.. I swear it was the nosiest period of my life in school. Everyone was promoting their CCA like mad, like sales promoter, like marketers trying to "sell" their CCA. My school literally turned into a market, a high class market, with loud music and people shouting to gain everyone's attention. I signed up for basketball, but right now, I am still contemplating whether I should go for the trial. If I ever get into the school team, there's gonna be many complications, and one thing for sure, I have no idea if I can commit, even if I can, I have to convince my mum, the lady boss!

Alright, I shall end here, I have to get back to project now! I am having my sign language test later on, wish me luck!

Upside Down.

Sorry that I've not been posting for days. School finally started and I just wanted to get use to the "I'm going to school" days once again after such a long break in between. I'm really glad that school has begun, I'm running out of ideas what to do at home, seriously, I can just die of boredom being at home every single day. Anyway, school has been fine for me, I love the modules that I'm taking now! I'm actually looking forward to start doing projects, I miss gathering as a group and discuss about the topic and just laughing at all sorts of nonsense :) Did I mention? I love my new group mates, I've worked with most of them before, so i's really awesome to have them as my group mates!

Anyway, just to share a little on my favourite module, it's actually sign language. I love this module and I am so glad that I chose this as my GSM. At first I find it hard to follow the lesson because I am a totally new to sign language, I have no idea my fingers should go about forming a word or a letter. I get better gradually, and it's really interesting! Just in a lesson, I've managed to form basic sentences like "what's your name?" and to introduce myself! I believe this set of skill will come in handy if I'm given the chance to work with people who have difficulty in hearing. It's a form of communication that it's really meaningful. Social workers should be equipped with such a skill so that it's easier to communicate with people who have difficulty in hearing :) So, who wants a free lesson from me? *winks*

Okay, so here comes the solemn part. I've been been exactly in a good mood recently. Yes, I joke around in class, have fun and laugh with my friends, but that doesn't mean that everything is fine. In fact, I don't think I know what "being happy" is all about. I forgot when I'm truly happy and that smile of mine is genuine. My smile has become heavier than before and it requires more effort to lift it up and I really wonder why. Some thing happened recently that really caused me to be dying inside. There's this struggle that I have to overcome it no matter how tough it is, no matter how unwilling I am. If I don't, I will just be torturing myself even further.. I'm in the midst of trying to get back up from where I've fallen, I hope I have the strength to persevere.

I seriously think that I'm displaying anti social acts these few days. It's like, I don't really like to talk to people and explain my actions. I want to live my life in such a way that I don't have to be accountable for anyone. I want to do what I want without being questioned for my reason behind it, I want to do what I love without being stopped. Everyone yearns for someone who will know the reason behind your actions even without that person asking you, there's some sort of a telepathy or connection between you and the person. I'm waiting for this person to enter my life, it might be necessarily be someone whom I'm in a relationship, a friend can do the job too! Right now, every move that I make is being questioned. One day, I want to cry without being asked why, I want to laugh without being asked why. I don't want to answer to any of the "why" questions, because I'm getting tired of explaining.

Back To Work!

The title will sounds more appropriate if it's "back to school", oh well, don't be surprised. Let me just explain myself! I went for job training today and the experience was amazing! The staff were friendly and patient, they took the time to explain to me about the operations of the shop and what to do when customers enter and leave the shop :) I'm thankful to have such lovely colleagues! Oh, just before I forget, I'm working at Artbox. The entire training lasted for about 2 hours, and the encounters with the customers were a good learning experience for me. It feels great to be thanked by the customers when you've helped them to search for an item that they want, at least I feel appreciated! Another thing that excites me is when I have to say "hi, welcome" when the customers visit the shop, it's so cool, don't ask me why, I have no idea, I'm gay this way! I feel happy when the customers reply me or when they simply just smile back at me, that feeling cannot never be described with words. It has been years since I've worked, and right now, I'm glad to say, I'm glad I interviewed for the job, it feels great! I'm looking forward to start working next month :)

I'm finally going back to school again tomorrow! Feeling excited because I get to see everyone again after such a long time. I miss this class more than any classes I've been in! I'm pretty keen to know who's gonna be in my group. I admit, there are some types of people whom I can't work with, but I will not change to another group just because I can't work with a certain type of people. I will try my best to work with them and to produce work that are of high standards! Who knows, I may be wrong, I might just be able to work well with them ;) In any case, they are all my classmates, so it doesn't really matter who I work with, at the end of the day, we are all helping out one another!

I'm having some issues lately, and I figured out that it revolves around the word "honesty". It's good to be honest, but sometimes, it costs badly when you are honest at times. The consequence might not be within your expectations, and it might just be something so hurtful and torturing for you to handle. I was being honest with someone few months ago, and I thought that my honesty will pay off, little did I actually know that it backfired on me. It costed me a friendship which I really treasured a lot. I've learned my lesson, and not to be overly honest with someone, guess I didn't really learn. The same old thing happened again today, I was being honest and told someone the truth. I want to be honest, I don't want to hide things, especially towards someone whom I love greatly, it's just not right. I didn't exactly lose this person, but I know the hurt and pain are there. Life is difficult, my parents, teachers and friends all encourage honesty, but they didn't tell me that I have to pay the price for being honest. It's a good value after all, why are there even negative effects? That's when I came to realized that, it's really hard to not be honest with someone. The guilt and betrayal you feel inside will bug you every single day. It's a torture. Although I'm at the risk of losing this someone, I still chose to speak the truth. That's the only way I can be true to myself, to this special someone.  It's trust.

Geniuses & Fools.

I know I said that I was tired in the previous post and that I'm gonna head to bed soon, but there's just some things that I wanna get them off my chest. I just need an outlet to express myself, if you disagree with me, go ahead, just don't pick an internet fight with me.

That's what I feel. There are 2 types of people when it comes to love, one type would be the fools of love, and another would be the masters of love, or you can call them geniuses. Why fools? It's simple. People always say that love is blind, and I wouldn't deny it because I've witnessed it so many times and personally, I've experienced it before too. Love makes us stupid, you do things that you never thought you will do, you give up on things, values and people whom you know you should never give up. You're obsessed, you're blinded, all you see and hear is the special someone who has seemingly took your heart away to the extend that you're ignore and neglect what's good for you. Just take this for example (because it's a real life story that I know of), you've just found out something unpleasant and negative about the one whom you love deeply, and yes, you listened and you'll feel affected. What's the point when you are just gonna listening without reflecting on it and thinking through it? It enters your ear, and after a few seconds, it leaves, it's pointless. You will eventually choose to trust the one you love instead of the one who told you about it, because you're a fool. You trust every single word he/she says, and when it comes to others, like your friends and family, you simply just turn a deaf ear. What can't we be rationale even when we are in love? If this can happen, I believe that there will be lesser people feeling hurt.

Now you may wonder, how am I going to explain on the geniuses of love? Let me explain myself. Some people are smart, especially after they know that you are in love with them, but the main point is, he/she doesn't feel the same way towards you. This is what they will do. They will make use of the feelings you have for them and treat you in the way that seems like they like you back but in fact, it's just a way they want to keep you with them because they are afraid of losing the care and love when you're gone. These people are smart, and of course, selfish. They can ask you to do everything and anything and they will repay you in ways that will result in you falling even deeper into the whole love pit. Yeah, way too smart. This is what I call "playing with others feelings because you are selfish enough to keep them with you when all you treat them as are just friends" or another one would be "playing with others feelings because you are not sure of your own". Smart, but well, it doesn't work well.

I'm not referring to anyone here, I'm just saying what I feel. If you're unhappy, then that's you. If you think I'm being all bias and objective here, I'm sorry.

New Friends!

Today's orientation was amazing, I had a fun time mingling with the juniors and playing games with them. It was a success, I thought it was even better than what was expected :) There were so much fun, laughter, giggling, screaming and cheering going on, I miss this kind of feeling when you can just go crazy and nobody is going to stare at you, thinking that you are crazy. I haven't been having so much fun since holidays started, and I really enjoy myself very much today! I'm not gonna go into details about the orientation, it's gonna take me like at least an hour to recall, think, phrase the words and type them all out. It's like a full day orientation so many things has happened, and of course, I am too lazy to recall and share them here. Well, I'm just gonna briefly touch on it and just share about how I feel and some interesting things that has happened! 

I find my group members very friendly and active, they are pretty enthusiastic and I love their spirit! They have the courage to ask questions after presentations and are not afraid to mingle with the seniors, it's amazing to see their participation! Oh, I was being called "Miss Elaine" and I was literally like "what, are you kidding me?" At that very instance when my group member called me that, I felt like I've aged at least 10 years! Oh gosh. And this group member of mine has a really nice name (shall not reveal it here due to confidentiality), her name is unique and it sounds totally cool! I had a hard time trying to remember the names of the year ones, and at times, I get all confused and perplexed when I tried recalling their names and match them to their faces. *sigh*

I'm seriously very lazy to type now, I'm like a zombie, so dead and tired, I just want to sleep. Anyway, today's lunch was Nasi Lemak, my favourite! I didn't want to eat in the first place, but the thought of "I might faint if I don't eat because I skipped breakfast" haunts me way too much that eventually, I just succumb to defeat and eat the rice. It tasted nice, I love the egg and chilli (oh well, what's new for me?) I have this group member whom I've given her a nickname. She's called "1.5" now, and the reason why I gave her that nick name was because she bought a 1.5 litre water bottle to the orientation, and hence, that nickname. It's funny when she answers me when I call her, it's like she has accepted this nickname so well! 

I hope the years one enjoy themselves today as much as I did, and I do hope that they will look forward to the first day of school, projects, meetings, lectures and tutorials :) I'm looking forward to see them in school again and help them out whenever they need help! This family of social workers is getting bigger, and I'm loving how everyone can get together, and in the future, give back to the society and help those who are in need! 

This shall be the end of my post, I'm seriously very tired, might head to bed soon. 

Give Back!

Before I start sharing about my day today, let me just share with you my opinions and thoughts about the two movies that I've watched recently. If you follow me on Twitter, you would have known them by now, if not, the two movies are The Hunger Games and The Vow :) Both are really awesome movies.

For Hunger Games, I believe it's more suitable for those who love to watch action movies, those really intense and uptight movies that gets your heart beating faster as you watch! My heart was racing and for certain instances, it almost stopped beating because the entire movie was filled with action, adventure, and of course, suspense. The keenness to find out what is going to happen next. It gets kinda brutal when the killing starts, it's bloody all over. Well, I strongly recommend this movie to everyone :) Oh, did I mention, I cried during the movie (Elaine's very own emotional moments again!).

The Vow is a good movie too! If you're looking for a little laughter out of the romance atmosphere, this one is just right for you! :) I shall not talk much about the flow of the movie, but overall, it's an interesting movie plot. Watch it if you wanna know why I teared while watching! It's sweet and touching, and I really love how to movie goes, although it gets a little touchy and sexy at times! It's based on a true story, so I guess it kind of make me feel more real as I watch!

Alright, so this is what I did today. I WENT PAINTING! It's totally awesome and amazing! I've never painted walls in my whole life, and I'm really glad I was given the chance to do so today! It's tiring, but I think it's all worthwhile, you get to see the plain walls being slowly, gradually filled with colours, and as you paint, the satisfaction level just keeps increasing :) I'm not exactly a good painter, but my patience works well with me today. I'm glad my patience was there with me throughout the entire painting session, especially during the time when I need to paint those tiny parts. I'm in love with painting walls now, I'm gonna seize more chances whenever I get to paint! Anybody wanna join me? ;)

Life never gets prettier for me recently! I have to thank God for making me believe that it's gonna come true, and my friends for encouraging me along the way and feeling happy for me <3

Hoops.

Okay, this is such a random post because I'm bored at home and there's nothing much for me to do at home. I simply can't wait for school to start once again. Lectures, notes taking, tutorials and most importantly, my friends! I miss having crazy times with them, oh dear time, will you please fast forward a little so that I can see my friends faster?

Anyway, I'm developing this habit of going to shoot hoops whenever I'm in a bad mood or just don't feel like talking much. I know the ball and hoop are innocent, but there are the only ones who will not hurt that much when I want to vent my anger on. So now, if I don't ever reply your texts or return your calls, you know where to find me :)

Alright, I'm done for today, I don't really have much to talk about recently. Let's look forward to orientation day, I just might have some interesting things to share about ;) till then my friends!

State Of Shock!

If you were to ask me for my opinions on Happy Tree Friends (I'm just gonna use HTF in this post, it's too troublesome to type out the entire name for so many times) a few hours ago, I would have given you replies like cute, adorable, innocent, funny. Just look at the picture up there, I believe it fits with my description. No wait, pause here, let's not judge a book by its cover, behind this smiling faces are acts of ultimate gruesome that I can never take it. I can't believe this is such a gruesome cartoon until my lovely, supposedly awesome sister (but she is no longer awesome for the time being because she introduced me to watch HTF videos) told me to just watch a video on HTF, so innocently and stupidly, I went to watch. I swear I got the shock of my life. The original innocent impression of the characters are utterly destroyed!

I've always, I'm serious, always always regarded HTF as a cartoon suitable for all ages, especially little kids who will be attracted to such smiley and cute faces. I take back my words now, it's not gonna be a suitable cartoon for children to watch, it's gonna harm them in the future. Who knows? Maybe one day, they might just turn out to be violent or even a cold blooded murderer. Okay, perhaps not so serious, but we will never know. Anything and everything is possible! I shall prevent my sister from watching it and I'm so thankful that the cartoon channels in Singapore do not offer this show or I will seriously cut away the channels, for the sake of my heart and my sister!

If you were to ask me for my opinions on HTF now, I would say it's like the animated version of Final Destination. One thing that really contradicts is that, I watch Final Destination and I find it alright to me, still acceptable although it's pretty gross at certain parts of the killing and murdering. I'm guessing my shock and amazement are the result of my previous impression of HTF. It's like, how can I ever expect such adorable creatures to be displayed as doing such gross actions. I'm like totally stunned when I watch the video, I closed the Youtube tab within a minute's time, no less than a minute. I can't handle the whole thing about "cutting the eyeball into half thinking that it's a lemon" or "getting your face ripped off almost entirely because the sign board dropped". It's too much for a weak heart!

To my dismay and disbelief, I will never watch HTF again, it shall officially be "blacklisted" in my life until that very day or moment in which I can handle the gruesome completely, without having jaw drops moment! I can't believe I've spent such efforts in typing out about my opinions toward HTF, oh well, then again, it's just my personal opinions! Anyway, I should seriously start jogging soon. I've actually promised myself and asked my friend to remind me to jog today, and guess what? It didn't happen because firstly, I was too lazy, secondly, I ate too much that it's not gonna benefit me if I run. Oh well, I shall make up my laziness tomorrow. I need someone to drag me to the tracks so that I can jog, anyone willing to help me out on this? :)

Strange Dream.

I swear I had a super strange dream last night! What happened was that, my cousin and a few of my friends went to Artbox with me. Somehow, my cousin spotted Rainie Yang's merchandise in one part of the store so we walked around the entire shop just to find the other merchandise. To my surprised, there's actually tons of photo frames printed with Rainie's faces all over them! Being a crazy fan of her, I went to get all the frames and just at this time, two of the staffs approached me with this album that I've been wanting to buy! (And it makes me wonder since when did Artbox starts selling music albums.. hmmm?). Due to my huge amazement, I passed the frame to my friends and I have no wonder why they paid for me even though I mentioned nothing about payment to them. When they returned with this huge bag, I got puzzled and that's when I found out that they helped me purchased all the photo frames which amount to over $300. I was truly shocked and angry, which caused me to scold and raise my voice at them right in the shop, in front of other shoppers and the staffs!

The best part and the weirdest part of the dream was the fact the Hongki was there at the shop (if you don't know who he is, he's the lead singer of the Korean band, FT Island), and he kinda got angry with me because I lose my cool. I sat beside him and pacified him by telling him that I love to listen to their song "Severely" and at that instant, he smiled to me! *melts* and we continued to chat like good friends. It's totally awww to me!
The saddest part of the dream was the fact that MY MUM WOKE ME UP! BAM! END OF DREAM! :( 


Anyway, I think Ming Bridges is a very beautiful singer :) Her British accent is just so... fabulous!

This is a nice song by her :) Enjoy!

Unknown.

I love this year's KCA (Kids' Choice Awards), it's really amazing! The award show was slime based, and the slime just starts shooting out of nowhere. It's like a time bomb, you never know when the slime is gonna hit you! Justin Bieber, Taylor Lautner, Will Smith, Chris Colfer and some other kids got slimed real badly. It was really funny to see their reactions when they get the sudden slime attacks! One part of the show that I was when Michelle Obama, the first lady of America appeared from backstage as one of the presenters, to present the "The Big Help" award to Taylor Swift! I love Taylor Swift, she sings well, plays the guitar well and most importantly, she gives back even though she is a well known artist. It's a huge honor to be able to receive the award from Michelle Obama, to shake her hands and to hug her, I really admire Swift! Simply, she's a role model for others.

No matter who you are, where you come from, we should all offer our help to those who need it. Even if it's not in the form of monetary, it's always good to offer our support and to donate "usable but we don't need" items to the less privileged :) We should all learn to give back to the society.

Let me just explain the picture up there. Yes, as I was watching the award show, someone appeared in my mind. This person is someone whom I've not been talking for a long time, and this person just came to my mind. I miss this person. The "I miss you suddenly" feeling was pretty strong, maybe I just miss talking to this particular person, or maybe, Taylor Swift just reminds me of this person. Whatever is it, I hope to talk to this person again... Talking about this make me really sad, we've drifted apart, we're even further than we already are, and the distance will just grow further apart. *sigh*

Till here then, the night is calling me reflect about my life once again. Have a good night ahead everyone :)

APRIL!

It's finally 1st of April! 

It feels great that the a new month has arrived. I'm glad that no one pranks me this year. If there's school today, I believe I'm gonna hear tons of screaming from my friends! Dear April Fools' Day 2012, why must it set your foot on a Sunday? I can't prank and disturb anyone :(  Oh well, looking from another perspective, I managed to escape from being prank by my friends, which is a blessing in disguise! 

Well, let's see, it's a new month, so I'm going to list down a number of things that I hope to change, to see and to achieve :) I'm not trying to be greedy, I just want to... Okay, it's just not greedy, I don't know how to explain, but NOT GREEDY OKAY? *puppy face* 

Here we go!

1. I want to have the courage to admit to the mistakes that I've made. 
2. I will pay better attention during lessons and not get distracted easily! 
3. I hope that one day, people will not judge me for who I am. 
4. I want to apologize to the people whom I know I should do so a long time ago.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The list just goes on and on because I have many things that I want to do and achieve. Maybe you can guess and see what's on my mind ;) if you can read my mind, then that's good (sounds super creepy!) 

Please remember: I AM NOT GREEDY! :D 

I LOVE ALL OF YOU! <3 Have a good April ahead of you!