Confession: Words.

I have this sudden urge to just have a post dedicated to those close ones around me. I have no idea, probably tonight it's just another emotional night for me, but I'm perfectly normal. I just ended a game of L4D2, and I have no clue that it has the ability to make me so emotional. Hmm, seems like I need to redefine the meaning of shooting games in my life, oh well..

To you:
I'm sorry that I've unknowingly caused pain and hurt to you, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to. I just want to be the person whom you can count on whenever you need someone to talk to, someone who will always be there for you no matter what. Maybe it was just wrong timing again, but my intentions were clear, I didn't have any hidden agendas. I miss you, the number of times that you appeared in my mind everyday are simply countless. I miss you everyday, and whenever I think about the things that you've said to me, I smile, because those words mean a lot to me even though they are special. You've gradually become the reason behind my smile. Things have changed between us, we used to talk everyday and I love waking up every morning just to send morning text to you, but the current us, it breaks my heart to even think about it, we're complete strangers. Despite that, you still have a very important place in my heart & I still care a lot for you.   I left you alone even though that's not what I wanted at all, but if that's all I can do to make you happier, I will continue to lead my life the way I'm leading now. I know you won't be able to read this, but if you ever do, I just want to let you know that, I miss you...

To you:
I'm no longer angry at you, but for the fact that we are not talking, I'm sorry. I needed some time, it's my own issue. I'm not mad at you for breaking the promise because if we were to touch on this topic, I should be more guilty than you should be. I understand the reason behind your actions, and I will stay by your side, just like how you did when my world turned upside down for so many times. Right now, I just need some time alone to think, to gather my thoughts. I don't want to use that as an excuse to make things worse, but that's really what I need. I guess it's more like a counter-transference to me because one of the very important promises that I adore was broken, and this time round, it triggered me to react this way. I'm sorry, but I will fix things back to how they should be. I need to get over this hurdle. In the mean time, I just hope you will not do it anymore because it will break the hearts of many.

Yeah, so I'm done.. In the meantime, I hope that all those who are affected by Sandy will stay strong. Please stay strong. I will pray for everyone who are caught in this disaster. <3

The Dark Side.

My apologies for not updating my blog for the past 2 weeks. I have been busy with my work and school hasn't been any kinder to me either. Whenever I feel like blogging, my tiredness just gets over me and I will just head to bed after I bathe. I needed the rest, but honestly, I didn't really get to rest much. I am still as tired as ever. Sigh. Alright, I deleted my previous draft of this post and I forgot what my girlfriend post here, but just wanna say, I still love her no matter what (I hope she sees this though). Anyway, too many things happened over the past couple of weeks, so I shall try to post about what I can remember. Good luck reading ths post if I decide to have a long one!

Oh, the first thing that came to mind was the fact that I just went to take my laptop! Oh yeah, you can totally imagine how happy and excited I am right now because I'm running my fingers on the keyboarad (don't you ever dare to think widly, oops!) I love my new laptop, especially the keyboard because it's just oh so nice! It makes me feel like I'm really typing in a super fast speed! Anyway, I bought this laptop using my pay so I'm gonna be extra careful with it because it's gonna last me for a couple of years before I have the cash to get another one. In any case, I'm already glad that my mum agreed to let me buy a new laptop. Thanks mummy <3

The second thing that came to my mind was about my work. I worked for 11 hours each for three days straight over the weekends, sigh, it was really tiring but I sruvived and I will continue to hang in there till my contract ends! In any case, I'm pretty much the weekend bar person now. For all the three days that I went to work, I was stuck inside the bar most of the time trying to tackle the never-ending orders & honestly, I hate it when I receive orders like smoothies, shakes or frappes. Sigh, why can't people be less complicated and just order drinks like iced tea or milk tea, it will definitely make my life inside the bar easier :) Alright, that's not really the main thing. The main thing is, for every time that I get to work inside the bar, I will have countless & unknown injuries. I swear I'm really accident and injuires prone when I work. Let's see, I have two huge bruises on my right leg, a few cuts on both my hands and muscle ache due to the continuous effort in trying to scoop the ice cream and shape them into a ball, like a really round ball... It's tedious. *sigh* Nevertheless, I still love my job. If attachment is not taxing, I will continue to work there till I graduate!

OH HEY! THAT'S A PRETTY LONG PARAGRAPH I TYPED!

Hmm, maybe it's time for me to share about my thoughts again. I've changed a lot recently amd frankly speaking, I did notice the change in myself and I dislike the change in me. Somehow, the change in me has caused many people around me to be disappointed, most importantly, even I'm disappointed in myself. I'm still controlling myself, because if I don't, I know more people will be disappointed in me. I've became someone I said I'll never be and it's really scary. Everything happened too fast, so fast that I didn't have the time to comprehend. But I should know blame time for the change in me, it's just myself. I find myself scary and not to mention, I find myself getting selfish and "cold-hearted". I don't really know how I should explain that term, but those around me will know it..

Time to display some wonders from kfp :) Really love the people over there!

Yep, time for me to do some revision now :) shall try to update my blog more frequently, no promises though.

CODY SIMPSON!

Oh yeah, isn't he such a cutie? Alright, the reason why I'm blogging about him was because of the fact that he followed me on Twitter this morning! YES! YOU GOT IT RIGHT! He followed me around 9.24am (GMT +8:00). Probably some of you might feel that it's no big deal, but to me, it's an honor or rather, a surprise. Just to be honest, I'm not exactly a huge fan of him but I do listen to his songs. His songs are nice & I do find him a nice guy. It always feel good to have a celebrity to follow you. I didn't have any hopes for any celebrity to follow me on Twitter & I believe this follow by Cody was a lucky one. All I did was to tweet, "I dreamed about @CodySimpson last night. Hmmm?" The next moment then I check my interactions on Twitter, I've gained a follower- Cody Simpson.

At first, I thought it was some fan account that followed me so being all nosy, I went to click on the link! AMAZINGLY AND SURPRISINGLY, IT WAS CODY HIMSELF. I went stunned in my room for a few minutes before I finally recovered. It was a nice feeling & honestly, I'm thankful for that.

Yep, right there, that's him :) really lucky and thankful.

To express my gratitude, happiness, excitement and support towards him, I've purchased his album, Paradise :) It's a good album, so for those who need some summer songs, get his album. 

It looks like this: 

Anyway, today is a no schooling day for me so I had a girls day out with my lovelies! It was a great day with them, we had fun and totally went crazy. What's new when I'm around? I'm forever the clown in the group! I love going out with these people, they never fail to make me laugh till I cry. So here's a big thank you to you girls, Wanying, Wen Ting & Ey :) Thank you for making today so awesome and amazing! Lots of love <3 <3

Yesterday was the first day of school, was pretty alright I guess other than the fact that the lecturer was late for lesson, really dislike it. But, at least she ended her lecture on time! & omg, terminology is such a killer, but it's not as worse as stats. That module can make me sleep and I didn't even pay attention during the first lecture. Our class had to sit on the floor because there wasn't enough seats to accommodate us, obviously, we need a bigger lecture hall. Hmm...

Alright, so now, Simpson time :D

I shall be his fan from today onward. He's such a sweet guy! ;)

Disappointments.

Everyone has to deal with disappointments in their lives, some experience more than the others, some has longer lasting impact as compared to others. But whatever is it, when disappointments hit, the feelings and emotions that kick in are pretty intense. How we deal and handle the disappointments will be another issue. We all handle disappointments differently, some laugh over it, some cry, some just isolate themselves.. Honestly, I have no idea how I tackle such issues, maybe I choose to avoid it, but then I realized, avoidance is not the solution to the problem..

I read this from a book today while walking around Popular.

"In order to move on, you need to accept the situation that you are in."

Yeah, I agree with that. Most of us spend too much time pondering over a particular issue/situation/problem without realizing that it's actually slowing eating up our motivation to move on. 

To be honest,  I've never been so disappointed in someone this much in my life before. I'm sorry, I know it's annoying how I say this for so many thousand times, but really, my heart aches every single time I think of it. I'm not sure if my worries are necessary, but I really can't stop worrying. What does it all mean when you're so worried about a person till you go sleepless? Do I even have the right to be disappointed in you when I've disappointed people in my life before.. Sigh, what's happening? I really don't wish for the second time to happen again because I have no idea how to handle it if it ever strikes again. I trust you & I know you will keep the promise that you made.. 

Anyway, I created another collage again the other day because I was too bored at home.. Here is it! 

And this is my current Facebook cover, I think I got addicted to making collages. 

That's all for now, goodbye folks. 

7 HOURS.

Oh yes, I've dedicated 7 hours of my time yesterday just for shopping, I'm so proud of myself! I will usually get tired after around 3-4 hours of walking around & I've always find shopping a bore to me, it was pretty amazing that I managed to survive 7 hours of shopping yesterday! *pats own shoulder* I guess it really depends on your mood, what you wanna buy and who you are shopping with! I guessed why I managed to survive was due to the fact that I was in desperate need of new clothing and bag before school starts. It was my motivation, and of course, shopping with your best friend is always the coolest thing to do :)

I had a really fun time yesterday, went crazy (as usual) and high during the day out! Like I always say, "retail therapy is needed before school starts." Indeed it's true, I can foresee a tough and stressful semester this time round with attachments and stuff, oh well, I should be all geared up & ready for school next week! Let's just hope things will go smoothly!

Time for some pictures from yesterday's shopping trip!

Aren't we awesome? Oh yes, we are! Alright, it's time for me to pack my cupboards before I get roared at again!

Pampered & Loved.

All I have to say is, I'm a very lucky person. I've amazing friends, wonderful parents (although they don't really seem to understand me) and just the fact alone that I'm in good health makes me feel lucky enough. One thing for sure, ever since I start to work at KFP, I feel so pampered and loved, it's definitely the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. It's really like a family, one big family with no hard feelings, with care and concern flooding the outlet every time we work, and the fun & joy we share even during busy times. I'm very thankful, really thankful.

A customer asked me yesterday, "You're smiling a lot, so are you enjoying your work on a Sunday morning?"
And I replied him, "I love this job, it feels like a family."
He gave me a smile, and that's when I know, I've found the right job, a job that I really love and enjoy despite all the tiredness that I have to endure.

And then during the night shift, a customer passed me a feedback form with tons of words written on it, and everyone who passed by the table was panicking, afraid that it will be a complaint..
She asked me over when she needed to make her payment,
"I want to submit this feedback form, you guys can read it, it's not a complain, it's an appreciation feedback."
The moment I heard that, my face lit up.

"This outlet has a team of energetic and motivated staffs."

That was the single line that made everyone smile, I like it. It's always good to receive such feedback from customers, it gives us the drive to serve them even better! 

And the reasons why I feel so loved... 

Specially prepared by one of the chefs, really love how he decorates the dish. Thank you <3

This is prepared by my sweetheart, isn't she sweet with the heart shaped with  chocolate sauce?  Gotta love her! <3

Once in a while, I'm moody during work, but it's only for a short while because it's just so hard to prevent myself from being happy during work. The people there, although they are not perfect, but it's because of all this imperfections that bond us so well :)

BELIEVE.

"I don’t know how I got here,
I knew it wouldn't be easy,
But your faith in me was so clear,
It didn't matter how many times I got knocked on the floor."

- Justin Bieber 

Let me just apologized once again for being on hiatus for a few weeks, I was busy with work and I'm doing night shifts most of the time. When I get home, it's already too late to blog and I'm always tired whenever I reached home. There's nothing really exciting about my life currently so I didn't blog as much, but, just wait for another 10 more days! School's gonna start real soon, and I'm assuming that there's gonna be lots of fun when school starts again. I miss going to school, weird I know.

Just before I start, I want to share a photo! It's the best moment of my life! Simply priceless. For those of you who don't know who he is, well, let's just take it as he's a hunk.

The lady on the right is my manager, isn't she cute? Without her help, I'd probably not be able to snap a picture with him. Thank you Anna! <3

Alright, here are more pictures taken during class chalet! 

End of chalet photos, it's time for some webcam photos! I swear the three of us looked really silly! Oh well, what's new?

& I think I look really cute in this photo!

It was the first mochi sweets that Wanying & I tried, the first bite was heavenly, but the both of us didn't like the cream in it.. Sigh, it should be cream-less! 

Last night was really crazy for me, everything happened so fast that till now, I'm still trying to sort out my thoughts. People always say, "hurt me with the truth and not the lies", but the issue here for me is, can I even handle the pain and hurt when the truth has surfaced? I'm not that type of person who will hate someone for hurting me, and honestly, it's really pointless, I don't see the need to. I'll just end up giving myself more pain and hurt if I hate someone, that's how it works. Frankly speaking, I never learn my lesson, I never did. Time after time, I'm always having high hopes on things that I shouldn't even have hopes in. That's when I really crash hard and fast. It has happened for a few times, and each time it happens, I told myself I will not let myself get hurt again, but look what happened, the same shit happens again and again. Am I too kind to people that's why I get hurt so easily or is it really the fact that I never did learn my lessons that's why... No matter what, no amount of sorry will take away the pain and hurt you've caused, but I won't blame you.. Reality is cruel, I just need to accept it.

Time to get my thoughts off that topic for awhile. Anyway, I went to Paradise Groups HQ to sign my appointment letter to be a regular part timer in KFP. I have to say, the building is really secluded and it's too far off from the HQ that I imagined it to be.. Oh well, at least it looks decent on the inside. In any case, I am still waiting for my card to be delivered to Bugis, it's gonna be another "like a boss" moment for me because my name will appear on the order paper whenever I key in new order, it's just simply too cool to be a fool.. That was random! Ignore that. The contract will last for 3 months and it will end exactly a day before my birthday, which means I get to enjoy my birthday without having to worry about work. I'll have to work every weekends for 11 hours each, but it's not of a worry to me anymore because I've survived 12 hours of work on Wednesday! I am so proud of myself till now! *pats my shoulder*

LOOK! IT'S ONE DIRECTION!

LIVE WHILE WE'RE YOUNG! PARTY ALL NIGHT!

And now... THE SCRIPT!

HALL OF FAME! I love the song, it's meaningful :) 

Alright, time to get my fingers off the keyboard for a while, bye peeps, "see you" guys in a while!