I MELTED TODAY!

I SAW ADRIAN PANG TODAY! :D
Omg, you have no idea how high and insane I was when I first spotted him. I almost screamed my heart out and I couldn't get anymore excited than seeing him. I'm a huge fan of him, but having to see a celebrity outside is like a blissful moment, and I have to say, he is such an amazing guy, and his wife is really pretty! :) I was walking passed a group of guys who were talking and I overheard a guy's accent and was really captivated to it. It's like a Singaporean speaking so fluently in English. Being a curious cat, I turned behind and spotted HIM, YES, ADRIAN PANG! :D I was totally stunned and amazed! My sister and I were like getting all excited over seeing him and we stood opposite of where he was standing and started to admire him, and his wife! We were contemplating if we should approached him and request to have a photo taken with him, but we end up dropping the idea 'cause it felt weird and we didn't wanna disturb his time with his friends and wife. After spending some time walking around the shops, we decided to take the escalator down and explore other places, and on our way to the escalator. PAY ATTENTION NOW, THIS IS THE MAIN AND MOST IMPORTANT POINT. We met him face to face and he was just walking beside us with his wife! OMG, I MELTED! I smiled to him mouthed the word "hello" and he did the same. This is one of the celebrities I've met that is so friendly when he sees his fellow fans outside in public :) In short, he is really an amazing guy. MY HEART MELTED!

Don't mind me getting all hyper and excited over seeing him, it's just that, it's really rare to see celebrity outside other than those whom I see during concerts, fan meetings etc. Anyway, went shopping today and I'm currently feeling super exhausted and tired. I bought a cap and a cardigan, both blue in colour and I swear I look weird in cap O_O Just feels funny! I think I'm not that type of person that's suitable to go shopping because I get tired easily. It's just not me, I can't stand walking from shops to shops for too long.
Oh! Lunch was fantastic today although I didn't finish eating my meal. I order curry zazzle baked rice student meal at Pizza Hut and after eating about half of it, I was super full, and I really want to burp so badly! >.< In any case, it's either there's something wrong with my stomach, or I was just full at that point of time.
BUT! I REALLY ENJOYED TODAY! It's good to go shopping once enough, especially when you have the $$$$$ :D My plan for tomorrow is to catch a movie. THIS MEANS WAR! Shall await for tomorrow to come!

That's all for today! Thank you to my lovely sister for accompanying me today! <3

Endless Road.

Sometimes, don't you just feel that life is simply making you tired and you have no idea where it's gonna lead you to? Sometimes, you are just so sick and tired of the circles you are going around just to get a simple answer for a simple question. Why is life so complicated? I wish it can be simpler and easier at times. Okay, I have no idea why I said that, but well, life is just so complex.

Moving on...I went to school today to clean the class :D I HAVE NO IDEA THAT IT WAS THAT DIRTY! Window ledges were filled with thick layer of dust and the floor was filled with hair. Hmmm, if I have the money, I would have sponsor all my friends to go for hair fall treatment so that the next time we clean our class, the amount of hair collected will be much lesser. Well, I enjoyed the cleaning session today though, filled with not only tiredness but some happy and crazy moments too, especially the laughter of my friends! :) Oh, we had a meeting with our lecturers today about the EMBRACE AGEING event on the 10th March, before I forget, please like this link: https://www.facebook.com/EmbraceAgeing thank you very much! I hope I can make it on that day to help out during the event, but it all depends on my mum.

I think I'm going round and round in life, because I never know what I really wanted in life, especially when it comes to relationship matters. Used to think that I can handle such issues well, guess I'm wrong. OH WELL. I'm gonna start singing and find lyrics that suit my mood now :P BYE BYE!

1D FEVER!

That's what makes you beautiful~

Yes, it's official! I am in love with One Direction! I think these guys are amazing, and they have British accent, which makes them even more attractive! I always find people with British accent amazing, and I have no idea why, they just are~ JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! 

I'm beginning to get high now. You know, it's not a good idea to get high at night because you will end up sleeping late, like real late! O_O I was listening to 'Papi" by Jennifer Lopez last night and I got carried away! I started acting crazily and wildly in my room, dancing like there's no tomorrow when she started singing "move your body, move your body, dance for your papi, rock your body, rock your body, dance for your papi" :D I was literally shaking my ass off and dancing like a lunatic in my room, at 1am. It was fun, but I realized, I didn't have enough sleep the moment I wake up this morning.

Aren't these guys adorable? *giggles*
Alright, so I went swimming today and I figured out that my leg hasn't fully recovered. I couldn't swim like last time, I had such a hard time trying to complete even a lap! :( I'm disappointed, I used to enjoy swimming so much, and for the fact that I can't swim well for the time being, well, it's just sad. My little sister kept asking me to see the TCM again, but I'm holding that move back. I dislike the pain on my ankle when needles are inserted to my leg! Well, she is right, if I wanna swim again, I should see the TCM again. I SHALL CONSIDER!

I have no idea how I am going to come up with a short paragraph for each photos, but I will try :D Oh, I have a random thought which came to my mind last night before I sleep.
I have no idea how to be sad anymore, I have no idea how does a heartache feels like anymore. I think my brain has formed a protective layer inside which prevents me from getting emotional and sad.

Love can change a person totally, like 180 degrees change. You will start to realize that you are doing things that you never thought you will be doing, you will be having thoughts that you never expect them to occur to you. For me, love has made me realized that I should remain single and not be attached to anyone. I feel like I'm not suitable to be in love. I think, single is the way out for me :D Anyway, it's too soon to say anything about this, since I still have a long way to go. LOVE IS IN THE AIR, BELIEVE!

 "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, there's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. 

Just like the rain down in Africa, it's gonna take some time but I know you're worth fighting for. 

I'll fight for you"

 "Girl, I see in your eyes you're disappointed, 'cause I'm the foolish one that you anointed with your heart, I tore it apart."

"I've tried playing it cool, girl when I'm looking at you. I can never be brave, 'cause you make my heart weak."

Yep, I just spammed some lyrics :D I have no idea what to post about now! I shall just let my words flow. I find it weird at times, when I'm happy and going all crazy, people will think that I have some troubles and I'm using my craziness to cover my sadness. Someone once told me before, "I don't want to put my sadness and troubles onto other people, it's not worth it." I'm beginning to find this sentence quite true. Everybody has their own troubles in life, if somehow, I share with them my problems, it's like this:

"One problem in my life --> tell someone my problems --> my troubles are gone, but the person has more to worry about."

OH! I LOVE TO DRINK GUAVA JUICE! ^^ It's like a super awesome drink with my many health benefits. It helps to prevent cancer and has beauty effects :D Not bad right? I like the one that are sold in convenience shops better than those freshly made from juice stores. Don't ask me why, because I have no idea why either :P I'm starting to feel that I'm not making sense anymore. I'm super tired, but I don't think I wanna date my bed this early, I shall listen to 'Papi' later and start to go crazy! I find Jennifer Lopez very hot, she's in her forties and yet, she is even more active and energetic than me! I once asked my mum to guess her age, and she replied me with "IN HER TWENTIES" :D

"When somebody loves, somebody falls. You're driving me crazy, you don't know. 

When somebody stays, somebody goes. Sometimes it's only lonely roads. So don't say goodbye, I can't close my eyes. They're spinning around inside. 

When somebody rocks, somebody rolls. I just need to find somebody to call my own."

PARTY TIME!

YAHOO! EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER! 

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen :) I'm back! Exams are finally over and I am super super glad that my efforts have paid off because I'm pretty satisfied with my performance, except for the last paper in which I made a few careless mistakes. I was literally half awake while doing that paper. I stayed up late and woke up early during exam period and I swear, that has cost my health. Gastric acts up more often than before >.< Oh well, whether I've done well or not, it all depends on my GPA, I hope I won't be disappointed though I keep having the feeling that I will not do as well es expected. I shall wait and see! 

Anyway, holiday is just another nicer way of saying that my life is boring T_T I have nothing better to do at home and I spend my day using my sister's iPad playing Temple Run and spamming Twitter. Yes, that's how I'm going to spend everyday during holiday, really bored and pathetic I know.. That's what happens when you have a super strict mum with tons of rules to follow.. Oh well, there's nothing I can do, so I should just stone at home. Maybe I should look at the brighter side of things yeah? If I stay at home, I will not spend my money on things that I don't need, and I spend some time drawing and folding origami at home, oh yes, if I think it this way, it is so much better! :D 

Yesterday, I had a super awesome and shocking experience, the experience is being named as "the most shocking incident ever in my 18 years of life"! My little sister got drunk, terribly extremely drunk! O_O I got a shock, she was so drunk that she began to show the bipolar side of her! *faints* It was a hard time having to take care of her, because her mood changed in a fast pace, she can cry at some point of time and a few minutes later, she can go all crazy! Well, I guess it was a good experience after all :) That was my first time taking care of someone who's drunk. If she wasn't drunk, I probably have no idea that she was suffering so much.. 

"You my dear sis,

 have made me realized that friends have to go through tough periods before they can become close friends, who are stuck with each other like super glue. I give you my promise that you will always have me by your side no matter what happens. You'll always have my support all the way. Stay strong. You're much stronger than the one whom I've known months ago. 

You're awesome! "

I shall end here :) I need to lend my laptop to my dad because he sent the desktop for repair work O_O Have a good night~ 

INSANITY.

I'm just going to complain and rant all I want on this blog post... I have to do so or I will snap like a rubber band because I've been "stretched" a little too much as of now. Most of the "annoying moments" happen at home, where obviously, according to conflict perspective, I'm the one holding the lesser power, and at anytime, I might turn to DRUGS to escape from alienation from studies, family and friends and frustration caused by inequality. I'M JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE DRUGS PART. I just dislike being at home sometimes, how much of freedom can you experience when you are being controlled about what you drink at home?

First of all, I have a question, is there something wrong about drinking bubble milk tea at home? O_O

Look, the sight of milk tea is so tempting and "seducing" in a sense to me, so why can't I drink? It's not like I drink it everyday, or for the worse case, every few hours. NO. I drink it once in a while, and it's not really that frequent. I know it's not exactly healthy or beneficial to drink milk tea, but it doesn't really kill drinking it ONCE IN A WHILE. Yes, I'm emphasizing on that point, it's just like once every few weeks, once every 2 weeks etc. What's wrong? I got scolded for getting a cup of milk tea in the late morning (after breakfast) which triggered other issues that my mum uses to scold me for. I shall talk about them later. Seriously, don't impose your thoughts on me. It's you who dislike milk tea, not me, so stop asking me, NOT to drink milk tea. Do you have to restrict my freedom this way, by limiting the drinks I can take? *faints*

Moving on, I get to know that preparing for exams in advance is wrong, very wrong to my mum. I've been studying at home and she keeps complaining that NO SCHOOL SPENDS A MONTH JUST TO HAVE EXAMS, and I've explained to her for "I don't know how many times" that for the first 3 weeks, I'm using the time to prepare for my exams, exams don't start till the last week of February, she don't understand and insist that I'm lying. How do I even score without preparing and revision? I don't like she sees me as "superwomen" that I don't have to study to score and I can do everything without making mistakes. No, I'm not a superwomen okay? I'm trying hard to study, to score so that you will not have to experience the same disappointment you felt years ago. I just need some peace when I'm studying, I will really appreciate if you stop asking people to our house to gamble, because you have no idea how much of a disturbance and annoyance I feel whenever your friends come and create noises. I need to concentrate. Just another week, is it very difficult or am I asking too much this time?

You know I'm revising, you know I'm studying, and all I'm asking for you is to stop nagging at me over the past issues and push the entire responsibility of coaching my sister's in her studies to me, sometimes it just gets stressful. I don't show it because I know it's my duty to teach her, but when the burden gets to heavy, I need someone to share it with me, but all you do is to demand this and that. I need a breather and my sister needs to learn how to do her work on her own at times, she can't be this independent on me. Don't blame me fully when she doesn't score well, I've taught her everything she needs to know for a certain topic and it's because of her independence on me which resulted in her being unable to score for her exams/tests. Do you have any idea how stressful is it for me to shoulder my sister's future? Mum, I'm not perfect, really, please don't see me as perfect anymore, because the label of being perfect is weighing down on me. No one is perfect.

I'm not okay, I've rarely been truly alright or happy when I'm home. You said I speak less than 10 sentences whenever I'm home, yes I admit, but do you even bother to find out the reason why? Do you even care about what I have to say? Even if I say it out, will you care, will you take my words seriously or just take them as an excuse again? Whenever I'm happy at home, you are always there to take my happiness away, why are you depriving me of happiness at home? Isn't home supposed to be a place filled with love, affection, care and happiness? I know you care for me, but you're doing it in the wrong way. You never know how much I want to express myself with all the you've been doing on me, all the resentments, unfairness and pain are building within me and I never got the chance to share it with you. You don't wanna listen, and when I try to explain, you walk away, making me feel like my thoughts are no longer important. As time to come, I've gave up on trying to express and explain myself, and just because of this, you think that I'm alright, you think that I'm coping well at home, but no... You're wrong.

I don't mind you giving all your attention to my sister, I really don't mind. All I ask is for you to scold me with a reason, not without a reason. The impact inflicted on my is great, and the struggle to get up is tough especially when no one really understands what you are going through.. I don't mind being neglected at home as long as you leave me with some dignity. I can accept all the blame you push to me, but that doesn't mean I'm alright. I just don't want to upset you with my words because I don't want to make it sound like you're at fault. Every mum loves their child, and you're not an exception. I know you care and love me, that's why you have such high expectations on me. Sometimes, caring and loving someone doesn't mean you have to put the person through such adversity in order for them to learn.. Sometimes, it's just about simple words and gestures to make the person feel appreciated... I'm really done trying to be a "perfect daughter" for you, it's tiring..

I should stop complaining and get back to my "partially misery" life now.. Goodbye folks.

Press On!

Less than 2 weeks and I will get to relax and enjoy myself! GO ELAINE! I'm trying to motivate myself to study and hang in there for another couple of days and I can free myself from books for the time being! :) Can't wait till exams are over~  Revision and memorizing work has been going well for me so far, and I hope that it will continue to be this way! I've been studying in school during weekends, and it's the only place I can study well... Home is way too noisy for me to concentrate and having to coach my sister in her studies makes the situation even more worse T_T

I've been struck by ulcers recently, there're 3 ulcers in my mouth O_O 2 of them were the result of me biting my lips while I was eating, and another one, it's a sign that my body is too heaty. I admit I've been eating tons of snacks recently and I didn't drink enough water. OH WELL. I drank plenty of water today and ended up going to the toilet like every 20-30 minutes. I bought herbal tea for myself to aid the healing process of my ulcer :) I WENT TO PLAY SAND ART TODAY! Such a happy girl today despite that I can't really enjoy my food because of the ulcers. SIGH. I feel like a small kid when I was doing the sand art, and my skills didn't turn rusty! SO YAY FOR ME!

Sorry for the bad quality of the photo O_O was taken using my phone. ANYWAY, I love this art piece :)

I'm gonna go study now :) byebye~




那些你很冒险的梦，我陪你去疯。

Happy Valentine's Day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

It's not just a day for couples, it's a day for everyone :) Being single doesn't mean you are going to be left out today, you have your friends, families and pets, so it's not gonna be another lonely day for all singles, I'm included :D I really love this year's valentine's day because it's the first year I received so many gifts and it's my first time receiving flowers on this day, pretty memorable! I think we should spread our love and show it not only on Valentine's Day, it should be done so everyday. Show appreciate and gratitude to those who care and love us everyday, because life is unpredictable..

Well well well, I spent my time today in school (as usual, I go to school everyday even though there's no school, pretty attached to school now, especially my classroom) and I'm really proud of myself because I've completed family and lifespan notes :D I think I need to rush a little because time is really running out :( And my appetite recently has decreased a little because of my ulcers. UGH. It hurts so badly whenever I eat! 

Anyway, I'm just gonna end off here, short post... AGAIN. I know, but I need to study :) There's finally some time alone for me at home now, need to make good use of the time! See ya, pals! ;) 

These lovely cookies are really yummy :) Good baking skills! 

My amazing sister :) 

Thank you for this bouquet of flowers <3 

Giraffe, I love the colour combination. And, I swear its eyes look sexual! 

Embrace Ageing!

That's right, we all should embrace ageing! :) Don't be afraid of scared that you are ageing, it's part and parcel of life. As you grow old physically, your grow mentally too, because you will be wiser :) And the best thing about being an elderly, you get to share your knowledge with the younger generation and passing down your knowledge is definitely a virtue!

Death is closely connected "ageing" and when you are able to accept that death is normal, you will live your life better and make sure each moment counts! I used to fear death, because I hated the thought of leaving my loved ones and all the memories I've had with them, and that's when I come to realize that I can't run away from it, I can only accept it as a fact and live each day like it's the last day of my life. I just want to do things that I don't want to regret in the future! There's really nothing scary about dying, because eventually, you will have to leave this planet and go to a place where you ought to be.

Like I said, there's nothing scary about growing old, it's NORMAL. Embrace it and your live will be much better :)

Oh, please do me a favor and like this page on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EmbraceAgeing 


THANK YOU <3

LET'S ALL EMBRACE AGEING! 

PEACE.

I'm typing this post for the second time, because my hands were itchy. I went to update my post earlier using iPad, and I have no idea why, my entire post just went blank. OH WELL. WHAT LUCK I'M HAVING.

Anyway, as I was saying...

I've set myself free today, yes, after such a long struggle and a tough war with my emotions, I've finally decided to do something for myself, I've finally realized that I need to free myself or I will seriously go nuts. I made a decision today, a really really tough decision. I contemplated it for quite some time before making a decision that I should go with it. I'm not quite sure if it's gonna help in anything or make me feel better, all I know is that I'm taking the courage and steps to make myself feel better, just a little I guess. It's hard to feel completely better when your heart and brain are telling your different things. I will try, I need to have self control, I need to follow through the promise I've made to myself and others.

I guess the decision came about because He gave me the strength, yes, the He here refers to God, Christian God. I've prayed to him every night and it has already become a habit of mine. This started when I was enrolled into a convent school during primary school years, and I'm glad I've studied there. The 6 years in the school had make me feel closer to God. Whenever I have issues and troubles, I pray to Him, hoping that He will guide me along my way and give the the direction that I should take. Even when I have no troubles to share with Him, I still pray because I know, He will always be there for me and help me out. He cares. I'm thankful that he has given me the chance to start afresh again, I'm thankful that he has once again, provided me with the path that I should take, I know the road ahead of me will be tough and challenging because if I don't control myself, I will slip into the old me once more. I'm really thankful :)

I really hope this peace will be with me always, but I know it's impossible. There's bound to be ups and downs in life, I just hope I can have this peace with me till exams are over :) Of course, I'm thankful to all those who've expressed their concern and care towards me, without them, I wouldn't have make it through. I really appreciate every thought, action and word that was said to me and done for me <3 thank you! I just hope I have the commitment to stay "new" for these 2 weeks.

Goodnight world!

As I am typing this post, I could feel the physical pain of my heart. 
I feel breathless.
I feel sick. 
I feel unwell and weak. 
I feel nauseous. 
Could this all be psychological? 
Is this the price I have to pay for making that decision? 

SMILE!

DISCLAIMER:

 I'm going to complain before I start to share about my day, bear with me a little will you? :) Thank you! 

I like it when I reach home, and everyone's not in, I just have the entire house to my own. I can do anything I like, sing, dance, scream, shout and just be crazy. However, things were not the same anymore ever since CNY *sigh* What more can you expect during festive season, other than happiness, celebration, YES, GAMBLING! I don't gamble, so I don't really know what is the addiction all about, or rather, what is it that one is feeling when she/he is gambling. (I play poker cards purely for fun, joy, laughter and entertainment) My mum simply loves to gather her friends at home for rounds and rounds of mahjong and other card games. I don't mind having her friends at home, it just makes me a little annoyed at how they talk so loudly  at my house when the other party is either beside them or opposite them, with all of them sitting around the table. YOU  DON'T HAVE TO TALK AS IF ONE OF THEM ARE IN AMERICA AND YOU'RE ALL THE WAY IN SINGAPORE! >.< The other thing that I don't really appreciate from them is the smoke coming from their cigarettes. OH GOSH, I experience this everyday because my dad smokes and I never liked it. It makes me feel unhealthy.. and I really don't like the smell. I'm not against smokers, it's just that, smoking is unhealthy, not just for the smoker, but for those who are around the smokers as well. I need to check on my lungs soon, to make sure it's still in good shape! 

Alright, I am done complaining :D I shall talk more about my day now! Thank you for being patient and for reading my complain.

First thing first, I think that I will do badly for my case management test.. I have no idea what I was answering and I just simply couldn't concentrate on the paper, my mind kept floating and wandering off to somewhere. I didn't managed to complete the paper, and for the questions that I've answered, the quality of my answers were not well presented. Oh well, what more can be done? What's done cannot be undone, I can only hope for the best and hope that I won't really do as badly as I think I would be. I shall not dwell on this anymore and focus on the remaining papers. YES! 4 MORE PAPERS TO HANDLE!  GO ELAINE! YOU CAN DO IT! :D Yep, self-efficacy, I know right! ;) 

I think I have bipolar, I can super emo at certain time and in the blink of an eye, I can be really crazy and high. No, I'm not on drugs, just high. Fun can occur without having to take drugs :) I've finally found a way, an outlet for me to express my thoughts, thoughts that are too personally and sensitive to be share on my blog and I really have to thank my friend for suggesting the method to me. ARE YOU ALL VERY CURIOUS TO KNOW WHAT IS IT? :P Well, it makes you tired and sometimes, you just feel like you want to give up doing that particular thing to express your thoughts and feelings. GUESS! I shall just reveal the answer, it's to pen down everything, your feelings, thoughts, concerns and other aspects into a piece of a paper or book. Don't censore what you wanna write, even if it's all the profanities, just write them down because those are your true feelings. I wrote mine on a book, there's a total of 5 pages filled with words. I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF! Actually, I think it's better to pen down on a piece of paper, especially when you are dealing with a issue filled with anger, after writing down, you can just tear the paper as a way of releasing your anger and frustration! ^^ 

Anyway, I do feel much better after writing all that I've been keeping within me on the book, and I'm amazed how my hand feels alright and not tired after all the writing! Maybe I was too overwhelmed  by my emotions to be bothered by how my hand was doing. I like the feeling of sorting your thoughts out and you just feel lighter, like a burden is finally off your shoulder. As usual, after all the crying, and catharsis, I returned to my original self- the one who's crazy and hyper! I still prefer the hyper me, the upset and hurting me is not the real me. 

I love to play with paper cube :) it's fun and exciting! Oh, did I mention, other than Temple Run, throwing/tossing/kicking/smashing paper cube is another way for me to relieve stress. AND TEMPLE RUN IS A SUPER AWESOME GAME, I'M ADDICTED TO IT! I am currently looking for ways to relieve stress especially during exam period! I have no idea how "Royal Flush" can make someone go all crazy and insane. I was playing Big 2 with my friends in class, and Ey got a little too high for us to handle just because she managed to get to royal flush! Thank goodness I am still sane, which is pretty a surprising! I have problem pronouncing the word "flush", I have the tendency to pronounce it was "FRUSH" O_O 

Badminton calms me down too, other than swimming :) Played badminton with Wen Ting, Ey,  Charmaine, Nicole and Mike and I swear, Charmaine and Mike are really crazy! I have no idea Charm can create sounds even though she's playing badminton, kudos to her! I laughed my heads off as I paired with her and played against Nic and Mike, she's really super hilarious! I have to try so hard to stop and control my laughing effect from acting up! It was fun and enjoyable and I felt even better after playing badminton! :D 

I have to bring camera to school tomorrow, which means there's a chance of changing display picture! AWESOME MUCH! :) I hope everything will go well tomorrow for everyone, I shall listen to a few songs before I start with my revision again! :) Stay tune for my posts! 

"Smile because it has happened, and not cry because it is over."