I SMELL NICE NOW!

Whee~ I'm back home from the SWANS BBQ gathering! As usual, I'm the earliest to reach home just because I've got a super controlling mum who always "offers" me a curfew whenever I go out. Sigh, I'm already 17, and yet, I don't have much say when it comes to going out with my friends, what a sad life! Oh well, I can't push the blame entirely to my mum 'cause it's her duty to protect her own daughter and make sure she is safe and sound. It's okay, at least I had fun when I was there, seeing my classmates, seniors and lecturers once again :) feeling really awesome!

I met my friends at the interchange and after much debating (I almost won the debate, but I have no idea how I lost in the end), we decided to walk there instead of taking a bus, despite my leg being "attacked" my blisters 'cause obviously someone "begged" me to wear my new pair of shoes (You know who you are :P ) Walking is fine to me if I didn't have blisters on my leg, but in any case, the walk there was enjoyable since I get to have a good talk with my friends and go all crazy over random issues ^^ Since I talked too much, I got thirsty and we went to e-hub to get drinks while my little sister went to get me plasters so that I can place them on my leg, which wasn't of any help, but thanks sis :) I bought milk tea from ChaTime, and I think it's a pretty new outlet 'cause I haven't really heard of it here in Singapore, but in Malaysia (I'm referring to KL in this sense), I see a few outlets in a shopping mall. Thanks to my cousin that I got to taste such delicious milk tea! I ordered milk tea with ONLY 30% sugar and most of my friends said it tasted bitter, but it tasted alright with me. 100% SUGAR WILL BE WAY TOO SWEET FOR ME! >.<

I fulfilled one of my wishes today and that is to cycle! :D I got so excited when I get to cycle because I haven't been doing so in ages! A few of my friends were pretty new to cycling so we decided to rent a few bikes and teach them how to ride. Sadly, they didn't wanna learn and gave up, so they took a walk around the park while me and the others went on an "illegal racing" around the park, like some lunatics who haven't ride on a bicycle before. It's fun! I LOVE CYCLING! I would love to get a bike for my birthday next year, which kind soul can make this wish of mine come true? :) I'll treat you nice forever! Cycling is a good form of exercise and I really hope I have more time to cycle! The friends who went cycling with me stopped by a playground and we started playing on the swing like some 5 years old kid, screaming and shouting as the swing gets higher and higher. And this, caught the attention of those people walking by. Who cares? they don't know our names :P The next class gathering location- THE PLAYGROUND! We need to retrieve our lose childhood!

Okay, it's finally BBQ-ing time! This is the slackest BBQ gathering that I've been to 'cause all I did was to help with the eating. Usually when I attend BBQ session, I will help with the preparation of food and making sure that the food is thoroughly cooked instead of just sitting there :) thank you to all those who have done a good job in cooking the food. Nice job! I wanted to try the stingray but I had to head home before I could even try it :( I'm so sorry my dear stingrays! I love the otah and hot dogs, and the TORTILLA CHIPS! All the food tastes so heavenly especially when you are hungry! I don't know why, but hanging out with the class and the seniors are always memorable to me! Love you guys! <3

The sad part comes when I had to leave 'cause I didn't get to spend much time with those who are present, especially my lecturer, Jim :( He came pretty late, and when he reached, I had to go home.. Sigh. I was like the center of attention when I said bye to my friends 'cause the others looked at me and were so surprised to see my leave so early. Sorry guys, it wasn't within my control that I have to leave early, I've got a curfew :( The moment when they said bye to me, my heart sank a little, though I can't explain why, but I know when my lecturer, Jim said bye to me, I could almost feel like it's the last time he's going to say that :( Maybe I think too much, or it's just some wild thoughts because I'm too tired. In any case, I enjoyed myself today and a big thank you to everyone who has made this day possible, a day filled with fun and entertainment!

SAY I'M BACK!

A BIG HELLO TO ALL MY LOYAL READERS! :D I'm back in Singapore, safe and sound, not even a strand of my hair is in danger. Really glad to be able to go back to my hometown and spend a good few days with my relatives, miss them so much! I shall just share about my trip back to my hometown with you guys, hopefully I won't bore you with my usage of words etc, 'cause I'm really tired and sleepy!

Alright, the bus ride home was really troublesome and tiring because we had to change to another bus at the Tuas Checkpoint. You have no idea how heavy the stuff were and I was really struggling to carry the things up and down the bus >_> thank goodness I trained my arm muscles frequently so it wasn't that bad as it sounds like it will be. The entire journey took about 5 hours or so and I have to admit that I spent at least 3/4 of my time sleeping, of course, my music is there to accompany me. I have no idea why I was that tired, I just kept sleeping till that very particular moment when I needed to use the toilet super badly. My mind just kept repeating, "Where is the damn toilet?!" My bladder-controlling skills aren't that to be honest, except the times when the road went super bumpy, so on that note, I needed a slightly higher level of controlling skills. If I don't control it well, there it goes, WHEE~ (get what I mean?) :P Holding your bladder is something most of us are trained to do, especially in school when the teacher simply refuses to let us go to the toilet or at a mall where the toilet at a particular level is super crowded as if it's having COURTS MEGA SALE -.- Oh, the best part of everything happens when you are finally given the chance to visit the toilet and release all that you want to! I shall not further elaborate more on that since most of us know how it feels! ;) <-- I like this wink smiley, it's super seducing. 'KAY, BACK TO THE TOPIC!

I reached my aunt's house around 430pm, which was actually my mum's former house, but if I were to explain why, be prepared to stay up late just to read it. JUST KIDDING! In any case, I love staying at my aunt's house (just fyi, I have about 10 aunts over at my hometown!) because of these three adorable kids that I love, especially the youngest one. HE IS JUST SO ADORABLE! Anyway, dinner at my aunt's house was fantastic! She cooked so many dishes that obviously my mum doesn't know how to cook them, or not I wouldn't be drooling like I've never did before (don't try to imagine how I drool, it's just a description :P ). She is a fantastic cook! She cooked nasi lemak, some vegetarian dishes, fish (the parrot fish is extremely beautiful!), red bean soup, long beans and many more. I ATE LIKE A PIG, no wait, I ATE LIKE SOMEONE WHO HASN'T BEEN EATING FOR 1321512 YEARS O_O It's just delicious, yummy, tasty and mouth watering! Oh, and the atmosphere back that was really nice 'cause I get to see all my aunts and cousins whom I miss dearly since it's just a day before my cousin's wedding so everyone gathered and have a home cooked dinner together! AWESOME MUCH! \m/ Though it's a little too noisy when all my aunts gather together, I still love the moment with them :)

AND FINALLY, IT'S THE WEDDING DAY! :D I'm so happy for my cousin that she's finally married and she managed to find herself a good husband though I don't really talk to him or know him well. They make a good couple and I hope that this marriage of them will be blissful and filled with love! I love the part where the bridegroom is actually being "bullied' by a group of sisters from the bride's side. And for my cousin's wedding, her husband has to answer a few questions about their relationship like where was their first date location etc, and if he answers wrongly, he will have to drink a cup of "something that looks super disgusting and whoever looks at it will vomit like nobody's business" drink :O I can't even look at those cup of drink for more than 3 seconds or I will vomit like hell. After he managed to pass this round, he has to sing a song for my cousin and actually make a pledge, that moment was so romantic. I'M JEALOUS >.<  Actually, this isn't the best part, the best part is when the kids (including me because I am this young!) get to receive red packets from the couple :D MONEY! I'd prefer to serve tea to them instead of taking their money since they've already spent so much on their wedding :( sigh, this is the Chinese tradition, I guess..

So that was what happened in the morning on the exact wedding day, the evening/night part was as fantastic as the earlier part besides having to wait for about 2 hours before the dinner starts. Since we are like part of the hosting family, we are supposed to go the the venue earlier to serve the guests and my role on that day was to help my cousin to take photos and help out at the reception area :) which was totally awesome! I took like tons of crazy photos with my cousins and laughed with them like mad! I never thought a wedding dinner could be so fun, thanks to my cousins :) I WAITED FOR LIKE 2 HOURS BEFORE I CAN EAT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HUNGRY I WAS! >.< The food was nice, but I didn't eat much 'cause I was too bloated from excessive tea in my stomach. Something caught my attention at the dinner, RED WINE! I have been yearning to drink red wine since a few years ago and I didn't get the chance to! I drank like almost a cup of red wine and my face became red almost immediately, I had to go out and take a breather and wash my face in the toilet thousand/million times so that I wouldn't get caught by my mum for drinking. In the end, she still did -.- My face turns red super easily even after a few sips of beer/wine, but I don't get drunk. I was never drunk before~

That was what happened during the wedding day, more or less, I'm too lazy to go into details, but if you ask, I might just answer your requests :) IT'S SHOPPING TIME! My aunt gave me RM1500 to shop for a day, and my mum took away RM500 because she is shopping separately with me, which is a good thing because  I can shop till I drop without having my mum and sister to annoy me! I went shopping with my three cousins and I treated them to dinner since I have quite a huge sum of money. I bought many things, a pair of Supra shoes, a pair of Vans, shorts/pants, and tee-shirts! Whee~ a good shopping spree for me! :) Only about RM50 was left after I finish buying all my stuff. There's still many things I didn't buy, like my Simple Plan & We The Kinds album, cardigan and school bad. But it's fine, shouldn't spent so much. SPENDING RM1000 A DAY IS BAD ENOUGH T_T

So all these kind of sums up what happened during my trip back home :) I really enjoyed it! A big thank you to all my aunts and cousins who took good care of me! I love you guys <3 peace out! xoxo

CRAZINESS!

Whee~ Finally found the time to actually post on my blog again :) Haven't really have much things happening recently, just small issues that makes me really happy!

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with my cousin, and because both of us have the "deprived childhood syndrome", we decided to sit on trolley while shopping. Just when I was about to sit on it, an uncle came along, and he was like, "The trolley is for you to place your items, not for you to sit on it." I got all embarrassed and ran away with my cousin, giggling like some lunatics. Who cares about being scolded at that point of time? I'm having fun!

Oh, so I had a good talk with one of my friends last night and she enlightened me with all her words, encouragement and advice. I really appreciate her help and I do feel better after pouring my heart out :) Maybe she's right that I'm being too harsh on myself, trying to be "perfect" for my friends. The fallacy of perfection, sigh, she has a point there though, I wouldn't deny it. I would consider her words carefully, and think about it, maybe I will be able to release all the hurt that I've been keeping within me. A big thank you to her :) I'm really grateful for that! I owe you socks when I return from KL! (Hopefully you are reading this!)

I went to the arcade with my cousin today and played basketball and the zombie shooting game! The games are freaking awesome! I must say, arcade is a really good place to train up your hand muscles especially if you are playing the basketball game! My hands were aching like mad after shooting continuously, well, it doesn't really matter as long as I am having fun! And there was this little boy who kept disturbing us, throwing those small boys at me while I was aiming for the basket, and he blocked my view while I was shooting the zombies O_O There goes my money! I got killed by the zombies because the gun was not able to receive the sensor -.-

I'm heading to Kl tomorrow morning :) so I might not be able to update my blog as often, sorry to my loyal readers (this sentence makes me feel famous for a moment!) I will try to update as long as I have wifi! :D Peace out! xoxo

Long Way To Go.

I'm not quite satisfied with the things that are happening around me recently, I thought it could be better, yes, it should be better if I didn't screw things up in the first place. I wouldn't blame anyone that bad things happen in my life because it's fated to be, but sometimes, things are just so overwhelming that they can suffocating and my energy are depleting in trying to fight away the unwanted thoughts and emotions. It's a war between reality and expectations of life. A tough war, and if I don't get the support that I want, I may lose.

Things happen for a reason, and there's always a reason why certain things happen. Whenever something unhappy happened to my loved and close ones, I will push the blame to myself and having the tendency to take up full responsibility for whatever that has happened. Because of this whole "I want to be blamed for whatever that has happened so that I will feel better" attitude has gotten into me and is draining me day by day when I try to overcome the inner part of me. I know I am fault, no matter how many times I'm being told that I'm not, sorry, that's not going to change my mind because when something happens, there should be at least 2 parties at fault or contribute to the happening of the issue, just like the saying goes, "It takes two hands to clap". I don't want to be told that I'm not at fault, the more someone says that, the more I'm going to push the blame to myself till I'm able to totally drown myself in guilt.

If we are talking about "forgiveness", then I'm sorry, 'cause I will not forgive that person who has done be wrong. Yes, I'm hurt, but this doesn't give me a reason to hate him/her. How can I forgive someone when I don't hate that person and I don't even have any grudges in me? No, I won't forgive for there's no reason why I should forgive because the person hasn't done me wrong. I'm not that person who bears grudges just because you've hurt me. Anyone out there who has this thinking, you're so wrong. If I can't handle the hurt and pain that I'm experiencing, how am I supposed to help others when I enter the working field? Maybe the word "hate" is never in my dictionary, though sometimes I like to say "I hate it when..." That's a totally different issue. Hating someone is tough, you are just wasting time hating someone when you know you could have used the time to do something better. In any case, time shall do the healing and before it does, I'm going to take a good breather and be selfish for this time and escape from the issue.

I'm off for some games now, peace out! xoxo

Emotions.

I'm a super emotional person, I wouldn't deny this, and I tear/cry really easily. Play a sad song and tell me about a sad story, you'll trigger the floodgates in me and I will start to tear. I've watched "Titanic" for several times and I always cry, without fail, though I wish I can control my tears a little better! I've cried while watching a comedy too >.< I don't know why I am this emotional, maybe I'm just too in touch with my feelings. At first, I really detest it when I cry 'cause it's like sending signals for people to "attack" me since I am weak. However, after going through so many lectures, I've finally realized that it's not weak to cry, on the other hand, crying is a way of being vulnerable to a person, especially someone close to you. If they can still accept you after seeing the weak side of you, they are truly someone to be kept in your life for good :) 

Other than the fact I love to cry (I only cry at certain times, so I'm not a cry baby!), I get jealous pretty easily, especially when I'm in a relationship. But, I have to emphasis that I'm not those type of "I'm jealous so whatever belongs to me will be mine and I will do anything to keep you away from my lover." This is the very extreme point of jealousy, and personally, I really can't stand people who do silly things due to overflowing jealousy. Yes, it's really hard to contain the jealousy when it comes, sometimes it's just able how you  handle it. I'm actually pretty glad that I know what "jealousy" is all about, at least it shows that I'm actually caring for that person, and that person is important to me! Like the saying goes, "Jealousy kills", I will do anything to control the jealousy that I'm experiencing and will not commit wrongdoings just to get revenge from the other party. 

There's no bad emotions, it's just about how you handle the emotions and what you do when you have those emotions (I feel like I'm going through one of the lecturers all over again, I'm school sick, for once!) I do get angry, like which human being don't get angry, it's just about the intensity. I have a friend who rarely gets angry, I admire her for that, she has such good temperament. I don't get angry easily, but towards my sister, I do get mad pretty easily, or rather annoyed. Sometimes when I'm angry, I cry (see, just proven that I love to cry, AGAIN!), if it doesn't help, I will just listen to music. MUSIC IS MY BEST BUDDY! When I was younger (probably a few years younger than I am right now), I used to punch the walls when I'm angry 'cause I was still immature and unable to sort out my thinking well, hence, resulting in me venting my anger on the walls. I don't like to talk to people when I am angry, I will just say the wrong things and make things worst, and regret my words after that. Well, now that I have better thinking skills, I'm not going to turn to the walls anymore!  

Oh, and I LOVE BEING HAPPY! This is the best feeling every, agree? AGREED! Sometimes, I just love the feeling of smiling non stop no matter what the cause is. It's a really awesome feeling. I can get happy over so many things, ranging from tiny little stuff to more important stuff. Let me give a few examples. I can get happy over leveling up when I play a certain game or defeating the enemy/monster/boss/beast/zombies in a particular level. As long as it gives me a sense of accomplishment by doing something that's right and not against my conscience, I am happy :) And I can get all smiling and happy when I know that someone gives birth, I love the feeling of knowing a newborn baby has arrived to Earth, it's a joyous occasion. SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE ME REAL HAPPY is remembering my birthday and just wishing me :) Don't it just feel great knowing that someone actually bothers to remember your birthday? (without the help of Facebook). 

In any case, I've been through the mostly all the emotions stated above today, except for jealousy. I'm still handling well, I guess. I'm going to do some reflection later at night :) Peace out! xoxo

FOOD!

I'm actually not very hungry, just feel like putting that title down to make people hungry! Alright, I seriously don't think that anyone will go hungry just by looking at this title. Oh well, one of my silly ethics again! :) This is the only title that came to my mind, so I think it's sign for me to talk about my favorite food, everything/anything that is related to food (provided if I'm able to get my facts right)! It's going to be a fun post, or at least, entertaining enough to make people stay awake and drool! PROJECT DROOL AS YOU READ THIS POST begins now!

First of all (this reminds me of the letter writing lessons I have during English in secondary school!), I'm a huge fan of spicy food, ranging from curry to tom yam to laksa and more! Just put a plate of spicy dish in front of me, and it will be gone within seconds (just exaggerating it so that it brings out my love for spicy food). I have no idea why I'm so addicted to spicy food, I think my mum over ate chilli when she was having me, which caused me to be born with a "hot & spicy tooth". I have to say that, one of the reasons why I started eating chilli/spicy food is because of one sentence that my grandma said to me, which actually scared the living hell out of me since I'm just a little, young gullible kid! She told me that if I don't eat any chilli, my stomach will be filled with worms. And on hearing this, I've decided to start to eat chilli! See, young kids last time are so gullible, or maybe my grandma is just smart enough to trick me to eat it! KUDOS TO YOU GRANDMA! I love my grandma! (random much, but spread the love!) <3 

Secondly, I'm highly addicted to black pepper food too! Using the word "addict" makes me feel like I'm consuming something that can caused me to be put behind bars for several years, breaking the hearts of my loved ones, harming my own health and to ruin my bright future. Why am I talking so much when I can just use the word "drugs"? I have no idea, perhaps my hands are really itching to type more tonight! Whenever I'm having the "western food craze", I will just switch my eyes and target them at the section just serving black pepper dish! I don't care if it's chicken, fish or whatsoever, I just want the damn black pepper sauce! I have to be honest, though I love black pepper food, I can't stand some sauce that certain stalls serve 'cause they are way too salty O_O it kills my taste bud almost instantly! I will be a happy kid if you just serve me black pepper food when I'm craving for it! 

Let's continue on this journey of my favorite food (noticed I type "favorite" and NOT "favourite" 'cause LKY said we are going with the American English! Whee~) I actually contemplated when to put next since food is like the second best creation after music. I think I will just go with CHEESE! Yes, I am a cheese lover! Cheese waffles, pizza filled with loads of cheese, extra cheese when I visit Subway, Double Chesse Burger when I visit McDonald, cheese pancakes, baked rice with loads of cheese! FANTABULOS! :D I just love to eat cheese~ I think I am the only one in my family who can tolerate the cheesy smell! Proud to be a cheese lover! My favorite cheese will be Mozzarella <---- the best cheese you can ever ask for on Earth (according to me!)

Next on the list we have COFFEE! It's not exactly a food, but it's still someone consumable! Well, according to Dictionary.com (Yes, I actually went to search for the exact meaning of the word 'cause I think I've been taking simple words for granted), the definition of food is anything that is eaten, drunk or taken into the body that promotes growth, provide energy etc. So I hereby declare that coffee is a food! I think coffee is awesome despite the fact it actually leaves yellows stains on human's teeth if it's not being well take care of. Of course, the most obvious advantage of coffee is keeping us humans awake especially when we need to burn midnight oil. Latte is my favorite type of coffee so far :) It's sad to say that I've never been really drinking it recently since I don't really get the chance to go out. Even if so, I'm always short of cash when I want to purchase a cup of coffee. Dear Latte, I'm sorry for neglecting you for the past few months, I know I'm in the wrong and I'm making my way back to you. Please wait for me!

If I were to continue my list of favorite food, I will probably spend a week to finish typing and reading such a  super long post can be tedious and tiring, especially for the eyes! I shall stop here now 'cause my eyes are sending me a signal to stop looking at the computer screen. It's being all jealous~ Whee! Peace out! xoxo

Growing Up!

I'm posting using my iPod and it's really troublesome. My dad is using my laptop now since the desktop is being attacked by virus. Anyway, I hope there won't be any major typo in this post, but if there is, please kindly forgive me 'cause it's not easy to type using my iPod and checking for typos can be tedious.

Anyway, I will turn 18 in about 4 months time :D really looking forward to that day though there's nothing to go all excited about. I've alway wanted to throw a huge party during my sweet sixteen but I don't think I've celebrated my birthday last year. To be honest, my family and friends don't really celebrate my birthday because it's either during holidays or weekends when everyone is so busy. I really wanna throw a party next year!

Hmmm, I think I watched too much of the 'My Super Sweet Sixteen' on MTV that I'm yearning so much for a party! The most important parties in life happen when you're 16, 18 and 21. I've already missed the first one, so I shall look forward to the 2nd one :)

So! When I'm 18, I wanna throw a really huge party and invite my friends over and just have a good time! There's gonna be liquor and really awesome food. Oh well, I need a really huge place for that!

When I'm 18, I wanna be able to make my own decisions better at home. I wanna say what I wanna say and not be afraid to do so. I hate how my words are been taken as a deaf ear and I'm so freaking scared to voice out my opinions. I don't want to be like a prisoner at home..

When I'm 18, I wanna have my first 1k in my life. This sounds really stupid but, every time I have money in my bank, someone is bound to borrow the money from me. It seems like I'm an ATM machine to them -.- sigh.

When I'm 18, I wanna tell someone something I've should have said long time ago. No more regrets in my life, though it's not gonna be possible, I will try to minimize the amount of regrets I have in life. Of course, to study hard :)

Whee~ I'm going to have fried rice now! Peace out! xoxo

Kidnap My Heart!

Whee~ I'm totally in love with this kid, they are the most adorable thing on Earth (according to me) :D
I spammed pictures of him 'cause he is just that cute!

I swear my phone's camera isn't good enough for me to snap quality pictures, but who cares? :D I managed to capture such adorable moments of this little boy!

And this is the only picture I snapped on my phone for today's health mapping exercise :( A little wasted but at least it's a memory to last me a lifetime!

Success!

I'm so sleepy and tired today 'cause I woke up early in the morning when I'm supposed to have my sleep till 930am.. Well, despite the tiredness that I'm experiencing now, my day was well spent and I really enjoyed what I did today! Just before I share more about the health mapping exercise today, I'm going to spend a few minutes/seconds ranting about my mum and sister (more about my mum actually).

The moment I woke up this morning, I was highly annoyed by my mum's scolding and nagging about why I have to put in so much time and effort in voluntary work and not proper work that can gives you a payout. I seriously cannot stand her attitude towards voluntary work and it's really bugging me very much. I don't freaking give a damn about money, I just wanna help because every human being needs someone to help there. We are not super hero or whatsoever. What's wrong with helping? I seriously hate going back to a house which has no sense of empathy and care for the others at all. I don't really talk much to my mum now. It's really pointless to make her think that voluntary work is good, and that, I'm really enjoying my course. Oh whatever, I'm not going to quit my course just because you tell me to. If you don't understand me, fine, I wouldn't beg you for that as long as you just leave me along and let me pursue what I really want in life. 

And for my sister, I would have given her a few tight slaps last night if my level of tolerance is not high enough. I don't want to be responsible for her homework/studies. It sucks having to sit beside her for HOURS just to stare at her while she completes her homework. Is there really a need for me to tell her everything when she has tuition and that her teacher has already gone through the worksheets in class? She asks me every single freaking question and wants me to explain to her. Sorry, I ain't have that kind of patience. For every single sentence that came out from my mouth, she will complain it to my mum and make things hard for me T_T so much for being my sister. Screw it.

I shall just leave this 2 ladies alone and have them out of my life for the time being till I'm feeling better. I just hate talking to them now. I'd rather talk to my computer.. Well, I really love today (excluding the part in which I got scolded early in the morning) 'cause I get to see all my classmates (not all, most of them) and to help with the health mapping exercise! I really love to strike a conversation with the elderly, although sometimes they don't really understand what I say, I enjoy that very particular moment when they share their stories with me. It's heartwarming to see that some elderly are so friendly! I really pity those who got abandoned by their child or something disastrous happened to his/her spouse.. I'm really touched by their words when they thanked us continuously for taking the time to care for their health. I'm moved by them. 

Working with elderly can be a tough job, but I believe that with the patience and passion, nothing is too tough to handle. It's just a matter of communication and understanding. We all take time to understand someone, and can't blame someone for being hostile to us in the beginning.. It's just a form of self defense against strangers. Anyway, I was really thirsty after a few rounds of questioning since most of them are Chinese or they speak Canto. My group members can't speak Canto and for Chinese, Teddy's Chinese isn't good so he "pushed" the survey questions to me. But after a few rounds, his Chinese got better! :D Good for you Teddy! 

Overall, today has been a really great and awesome day for me! I feel glad to be able to see my classmates again! :) I can't believe I'm falling asleep soon. Seems like I need a cold bath to wake me up! Whee~ Off to shower now, peace out! xoxo

PS, to all my classmates who've participated in today's health mapping exercise, well done and good job! It's really glad to see that we as a class are coming together and help those who need our help! For everyone who's there, I'm really glad to see such passionate voluntary workers! Singapore certainly needs more of such people! 

LIKE A BOSS.

I really like this phrase "LIKE A BOSS" a lot! It makes me feel superior, in some sense. It's a very versatile word, you can apply it to every sentence. I like the phrase "like a boss" because it makes me sounds like a boss, and people will start to treat me like a boss, which makes me feel like a boss. But the fact is that I don't act like a boss, because acting like a boss is acting you to be mean to your employees. I don't want to act like a boss who is mean, therefore, I only act like a boss in the right manner :D Okay, that doesn't really make sense, but I'm having fun!

In any case, you can just add in the phrase to let people have the feeling of "Woah, you're amazing/superior/powerful". Well, imagine saying this 2 sentences, "I'm eating chips" and "I'm eating chips like a boss." I'm sure the 2nd sentence will have the "WOAH" effect (at least 80% accurate when I say this). I have no idea why I'm sharing this, I just find it amusing and fun! I'm updating my blog like a boss. I'm doing everything like a boss, BECAUSE I AM THE BOSS (in my own world). I'm never the "boss" in my family, which is a sad thing 'cause all your words are being regarded as "useless" or "nonsensical".

Anyway, I'm headed to school today for badminton with Mike and Winsome :D It feels great to go back to school once again after staying at home for such a long time. I miss school, for once! Mike initiated to play a match with me, so we played 3 sets and I won 2 sets. I played like a boss and win like a boss. (This post is going to be filled with the phrase "like a boss", bear with it for a little while!) It's fun to see how he was getting all touchy when he missed the shuttlecocks. It was tiring, but I enjoyed it. I love doing things that make me happy!


Seriously, I'm already 17, I don't understand why I still have curfews when I go out, and what's worst, I actually follow the curfews my mum set for me. She is that fearsome in my life. Oh no, I honestly hate having curfews when I'm out with friends. It's like you're in jail, no freedom at all. Anyway, I'm seriously, really, extremely, honestly, like a boss-ingly mad at my mum! Why is she so against me doing voluntary work?! Why is she putting me down when all I want is to help people? I don't mind helping others and not getting anything in return. I'm happy when I help people, why is her mind filled with money?! I want to help people, I want to improve their lives, I want to make a change, I want to give back to the society. Why does she always have to stop me from doing something I love? It's getting out of hand, and she's way to unreasonable. Why can't she just think in the manner that humans are not invincible, we need other people's help! WHY CAN'T SHE FREAKING UNDERSTAND? MONEY IS NOT IMPORTANT TO ME! My blood is boiling like a boss when I typed this -.- I shall go and spend some time to try to think in my mum's position. PILLOW METHOD. Gonna empathize like a boss!

Peace out mates! xoxo

Wishes.

I came up with this title when my friend told me she saw shooting star(s) earlier on :D It'a a good sign to see shooting stars, at least it makes you feel that you are lucky enough to spot one. I haven't seen a single shooting star in my life. I did actually, on shows, but it's not counted. It's so fake. I want to see a real one, a real shooting star so that I can make my wishes come true. AND A RAINBOW TOO! It has been ages since I've seen a rainbow.. I miss it. It's a beautiful view!

Anyway, I was wondering, what wishes I will make if I were to encounter a shooting star. There's so many things I want them to happen, and I think I will really contemplate for a long time before deciding what wish to make. By the time I've decided, the shooting star will be long gone! Maybe human race is just greedy and wants many wishes to come true. There's so many things that I want to wish for, really a lot. If I'm only give a chance, I will wish that everyone will have a healthy body :) With a healthy body, people can achieve what they want. Oh well, when will I ever encounter a shooting star?

I'm too tired to type any further, really tired and sleepy tonight >.< Peace out! xoxo

Stoning.

That title accurately reflects the level of enjoyment and excitement and entertainment I have in my life right now, not to a very serious extent, but serious enough to make me diagnose with the "I'm bored so I'm all random" disease. I'm extremely bored at home, and I'm finding ways to entertain myself, which I think, failed terribly! I didn't know trying to create entertainment for oneself can be this tough, I shall never apply for an entertainer job, I would be sacked within minutes >_>

Maybe today is a little special than the other days, since I get to leave my house and take a breather outside. I went to my uncle's shop today and wanted to help him with his business (he's selling tidbits), but I didn't manage to say since there was little customers so my uncle said that I can go home. I went there with my mum and aunt by the way and we took a cab there. The entire journey was suffering, it was like riding on a car that is installed with the latest and hottest sauna you can ever imagine. The taxi's air conditioner was spoiled so I have to tolerate the heat, not only that, the window was actually lowered down so that wind can enter. I don't mind that, but the exhaust gases from the cars can kill me, it's like the most vicious form of suffocation. Oh well, I managed to reach there alive, still in one piece. The only thing that bothered me after I alighted was my motion sickness, it has been with me for years. Whenever I get out of a car or taxi (bus, ship and plane are not that serious), I would have the nauseous feeling and my face will be like "I'm going to die any moment soon". It's so so terrible!

Never mind about that part, it's not really that important. Oh, and I dragged my mum and aunt to Pastamania this afternoon because I was craving for some really nice and tasty pasta. It's pretty obvious to me that they've not entered this shop before because they have no idea that we need to make the order on our own. I helped them order the mushroom soup and my mum was like, "This soup has such a strong milk smell." And my aunt finished the soup within seconds without waiting for the garlic bread! So when the garlic bread came, my mum gave my aunt the "I told you not to drink so fast" look :D It's so just epic! I snapped 2 photos of my mum and she didn't realised it at all. I've found my new job! PHOTO NINJA (to put it in layman terms, it means paparazzi) It's fun!

I sent my mum & aunt to the bus interchange and made my way to meet my "half blood sister" and friends. They were at the arcade when I found them, and all 3 of them have the "Omg, the arcade is my childhood place, I'll never want to leave" attitude in that! It's cute! Arcade is a really good place for teens to heal their "deprived childhood syndrome". It's good that I didn't go as crazy as them since arcade isn't really the kind of places I like, I prefer outdoor, like beaches, parks etc.

Overall, today is quite a good day for me :D I'm so sleepy now >.< Shall end here, peace out! xoxo

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

That title made me giggled for some reason because it reminds me of this particular guy in my class during secondary school. He simply looks to fight with others and quarrel with people. I remembered there was this once when he picked a fight with someone, and he was on the verge of breaking down. Just at that moment, he spotted a correction tape (it's just one freaking correction tape actually) and out of anger, he aimed and "fired" that correction tape out of the classroom, shouting "FIRE IN THE HOLE". So I guess he assumed that he was in an army training or having a war with someone >_> it's just an epic moment! Whee~

Back to the main topic that I wanna say, so today's Mooncake Festival or Lantern Festival. OH YES! IT'S CALLED MID AUTUMN FESTIVAL. How can I ever forget about its name? Seriously, I think Mooncake Festival sounds cooler! :D In any case, the ambiance in Singapore when it comes to festive seasons is totally quiet and dull. There's isn't any celebration mood or atmosphere around. It's supposed to a joyous occasion where families gather to enjoy today, have a chit chat season with one another while savoring the mooncakes and tea. Of course, to enjoy the moonlight! BUT NO! I don't see it at all :( and it makes me sad because mid autumn festival is one of the coolest time of the year! Oh well, it just seems to be that today is just another normal day where kids go to school, poly students having their holidays and adults preoccupying themselves in work. Heading to work and going to school are redundant today! I THINK A HOLIDAY IS NEEDED FOR THIS FESTIVAL, to promote family bonding. It wouldn't kill not attending school or going to work for a day, take a break, take a chill pill Singaporeans! People need to learn to relax at times because there's no limit to the amount of workload we are going to encounter.. CHILL!

Anyway, I'm going to work ( I prefer using the term "help out") at my uncle's shop at BEDOK. Like omfg, it's BEDOK, a place that is 23124819 miles away from me. Well, actually not that serious, I just like to exaggerate stuff for some reasons, but still, it's so far away from where I live in. SAVE ME PLEASE~ My aunt said she is going to pay me $4.50/hour and I said $5/hour because 5 is a whole number. And if I were to work for 7 hours a day with a pay of $4.50/hour, that extra 50cents over there makes me feel uncomfortable. I prefer seeing whole number amount! I don't think I'm alone in that right? In any case, I'm going to the shop with my aunt & mum tomorrow, and well, hopefully my uncle is willing to employ me. I thought holiday is just going to get by without me finding a job. BUT I SEE LIGHT NOW! I shall give my mum all the money I've earned, it's the right thing to do!

Alright, I'm currently obsessed with the boy band named "One Direction" or 1D (We have 4D here in Singapore -.- 'kay, that's lame). It's a group with 5 teen boys around my age, yeah! Hot stuff up for grab! Just kidding! Anyway, do listen to their song, "WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL"! It's a really nice and catchy song. You will love it (maybe xD) That's all for today! Peace out! xoxo

LMAO.

I do not have any nice title to put for this post and it just so happened that "LMAO" came to my mind, so yeah! Bam! There is it, up there! Anyway, I'm like happy and sad today. Let me explain myself..

Alright, so I kinda had a sleepless night last night because of Roger Federer's match. I was hoping that he will win and secure a place in the finals, but to my huge disappointment, he did now. Well, I'm sure he did his best and played to his best ability. When I read about his defeat this morning from Twitter, I almost cried. I thought he would win :( I'm really sad that he didn't, but there's always next time! Go for it Federer! I believe in you!

I got myself an orange flavored mooncake today! Whee~ so excited since this is like my first snow skin mooncake! I'm so eager to eat it! I shall eat it once I'm done blogging! I love mooncakes! This is going to be a short post because I have no idea what to blog about. Oh well, shall share with you the mooncake, VIRTUALLY!

It looks so tasty! I love the colour! I'm off to savor my mooncake now! Peace out! xoxo

Meaningful Day.

Whee~ I'm so happy that I've spent my day meaningfully :D It was a great experience and a meaningful activity to be able to help the animals and raise funds for them, and of course to raise awareness to the public towards animal abuse. I really hope that more people will be aware of this issue and prevent cruelty to the animals. Not only humans need respect, not only humans have dignity, animals have to. We should treat them with care, concern, love and respect!

Anyway, I really enjoyed the entire flag day process because I get to see the reactions of people when I'm approached them for the donation! Like through their nonverbal (I do pay attention during lectures!) I can know whether they are donating willingly. I like it when people approach me automatically, with a SMILE and not a frown! Some people approached me without me asking for donation, but they gave me the "I'm donating because I pity you" look or "Get away from me after I've donate to you" look or "Oh no, better donate before they pester me" look. I don't need you to pity, I'd rather you don't donate if you feel forced.. It's for the animals, not for me, so I don't need your pity and giving is a virtue. Such disappointment for me when I get rejected for so many times today, pretty disheartened because I expected a kinder human nature in this society. Maybe my expectations were a little too high, but animals are human's friends, shouldn't we help them too? It's not like we are asking them to donate their entire asset, it's just whatever they can, even if it's like 5cents, it's good enough. Help within your boundary, and you will be respected for that. Okay, I should stop ranting, perhaps they are in a rush of time or really have no spare money to donate, at least some people rejected with a smile.

Though there's some disappointment along the way, there's also some donors who managed to put a smile on face. Like those people who came forward to me with a smile, those who donated generously (a few of them donated $10), those who actually bother to acknowledge my presence, and those who thanked for me thanking them. These people made my day and made me realized that there's still a slight hope for a more generous society in the future. I love how some people are so enthusiastic when I told them that the flag day was organised to help SPCA, and they donated without any hesitation! And I really like this bus uncle, he was like "Oh, donation! Wait let me check if I have coins. Ummm, is 10cent alright?" (because that's the only coin he has). So I smiled and thanked him. A few minutes later, he returned and said to me, "Eh, you recognize me right? Haha. You're doing a good job, keep it up. God bless! " This sentence just lit up a smile on my face. Though he didn't donate much, but his encouraging words kept going since my legs are giving up on me.

Oh, and something really shocked me! There's this woman wearing army uniform, who suddenly stood in front of an open space, and shouted across to the mall's security guard, "F***, I smoke you call police for what? You got no balls is it? I've got balls (pointed at her "balls"), come down here and talk. Don't stand there. Stupid old man" I was taken aback by her words greatly, and I quickly moved away. She scared the living shit out of me! She then walked away after shouting for some time and stood across the road with the face which seemingly means "You watch out, I'm going to come after you. Stupid old man". Her fierce look was fierce enough to scare a tiger/lion/crocodile away O_O

Anyway, a big thank you to all the people who have donated and also to those who have helped today! I really like it when so many people are willing to sacrifice their Saturday to help out today! Whee~

Mushroom Killer.

Whee~ I'm back to post again, because as usual, I am rotting at home, with nothing to do. I'm waiting for 11pm so that I can lay on my bed and enjoy the tennis matches :D

Alright, so I caught a mushroom killer earlier and have sufficient evidence to prove that she killed an innocent mushroom by placing it in her mouth, chew it, swallow it, digest it and "releasing" it through her big business time. Yes, sufficient and concrete evidence to arrest her. I sound like a detective, a crazy, weird detective that solve cases about mushroom. Oh no, I pity the mushroom :( R.I.P, you will always be remembered. How can someone be so evil to kill a mushroom which did nothing to her? It's just an innocent mushroom who wish to be stayed on the plate during dinner time for people to admire, and yet, someone had to take away its wish. What a sad story to hear...

Okay, I swear that was totally just crapping. It's just something stupid I created when my "half blood sister" (actually not even half blood, I said that just to please her. I don't mean it :P ) stole a mushroom and eat it. Due to the high level of boredom I was facing, I created an unreal story based on that.. I have no idea the consequences of being extremely bored can be this serious..

Anyway, I found a bunny hat behind my bedroom door earlier and started playing with it. It belongs to my sister ( yes, this is the real half blood sister ) and I "borrowed" it from her since she is out with my mum. Let me show you my crazy moments! CALL ME THE AWESOME HUMAN BUNNY! Just kidding -_- ( Damn, boredom needs to leave me alone )

I look like some bunny alien from outer space especially when I wear the shades. Like seriously, who the hell wear shades under a shade? O_O But it's fun, and I love my shades though I don't wear them often since I wear specs. This is the 21st century Easter Bunny!

I think I'm going to take a short nap and wake up later to watch my tennis matches :D I can't wait for tomorrow's fundraising event. Whee~ Get to see my classmates again!

Uncomfortable.

I slept pretty early last night and I woke up around 950am today. It was a nice sleep till the very particular moment when I realised I have a swollen right eye. Yes, a SWOLLEN right eye, how awesome. Right now, I'm feeling very uncomfortable due to the swollen eye and I can barely keep it open. I'm typing this in a very slow manner, filled with typos, so I guess I will have to take a super long time to finish updating my blog. Oh well, I will finish updating sooner or later, shall take my own sweet time.

Swollen eye ain't cool at all, and I hate it when my eyes get swollen, be it after crying too much or infection. I remembered during my primary school graduation day, I cried for quite a long time since I am pretty easily affected by the people around me, especially my close friends. It's like when they cry, it automatically sends a signal to my brain and that's when my floodgates open and I start to cry like a river. So, anyway, back to the topic, after crying for so long, I woke up the next day with an ultra big eye, it's so swollen that I can barely see with my eye and I have to go to the doctor immediately. BAD INFECTION! I thought I was the only one with this infection, but I was wrong. Most of my friends who cried like mad had the same problem as me. It's funny how when we walk together, we all have swollen eyes. Good times during primary school~ Well, I guess this time my swollen eyes isn't that bad as compared to the one that I got like 5 years ago. OH WOW! I have a  good memory!

Hmmm, let's see. Alright! Just another SHORT paragraph on tennis again (notice I use the word "short"). Anyway, my man ROGER FEDERER defeated Tsonga and managed to proceed to the semifinals! Woohoo~ I am so happy when I read this from the US Open website! What's worrying me is that his opponent is the world's 1st seeded player current, Novak Djokovic. He's a good player, and has defeated Federe in 2 out of 4 of their meetings. Anyway, I really hope that Federer will win and play in the finals! Sending my wishes all the way to New York for him! All the best! I can't wait to see the match. 2 top players competing with each other, that's the highest level of tension, excitement, aggressiveness and competitiveness that we can expect! As promised, this is really a short paragraph on tennis!

I'm currently trying to find a right time to inform my mum about tomorrow's SPCA fund raising. The reason why I have to find a right time is because my sister just pissed my mum off so I need to wait for a better time before I tell her. And I said, INFORM, not ask, which means I'm telling her that I'm going, not asking her for permission. She is really pretty unhappy that I am doing so many voluntary work, and I am not looking for a job. But helping others (be it human, nature or animals) is my passion, I want to help those who needs my help and contribute to the society. It's something I love doing and I ask for nothing in return. My mum just don't seems to get this point so it's pretty hard to convince her that I'm going for voluntary work tomorrow. Another thing is that tomorrow is Saturday, yes, WEEKEND! I usually don't get the chance to go out during weekends because my mum needs my help at home to look after my sister and help with the housework. Sigh, how am I ever gonna tell her I need to get out of the house tomorrow? But looking from another perspective, a positive one, I chose the time slot from 1pm to 5pm which makes me feel smart because there's still a slight chance that I can go since it's in the afternoon. I just this smart!

So.. 20th September is like coming soon, really coming soon. It's gonna be my doomsday. I can totally feel the pressure now just typing that sentence out. Oh well, what's done is done, I can only hope for the best and not to disappoint my family.. Hasta la vista, shall update again tonight! xoxo

Bored & Random.

I'm really bored at home and I have no idea what to do so I guess I will just randomly post something about me so that time can be spent on typing/updating my blog. I have no life -.- I've been coping myself up in my house for the past 3 days, and it really sucks. Anyway, my parents and sisters are coming back tomorrow! The house will no longer be so quiet anymore.

I think I kinda screwed my body clock up. I sleep every night at about 3am or later, and wake up around 9plus. But it's a little different today, I woke up at 634am 'cause I received a text from my overseas friend and we texted till around 7plus and I went back to sleep. Wanted to wake up at 830am to do housework, but I was too tired to get my butt off the sofa so I slept till 930am. Oh yes, I have been sleeping on the sofa these past few days because I gave my bed to my cousins, so I have to sleep in the living room. It's fun, but the fan isn't blowing towards me and I always end up sleeping on the floor because it's so much more cooling! And once again, I used the stove last night just because my cousins wanted to eat instant noodles so I have to cook for them. I've cleaned the kitchen properly, so I hope my mum won't find traces of evidence of me cooking. Last thing about the kitchen and me.. I swear I look like a retard having to stand in front of the stove just to wait for the water to boil >_>

Alright, I have no idea what to post now, I think I will just start babbling and ranting about random issues that I can think of. First thing first, I am super disappointed last night and this morning 'cause all the tennis matches for US Open were being cancelled due to the bad weather condition in NY. How sad! I was waiting for Nadal to play! Sigh, I hope it will stop raining in NY, and the matches can continue. In any case, ROGER FEDERER IS THE MAN! I seriously think that I am obsessed with him or rather, he is my idol. I want to steal his tennis skills away. Maybe I can hire him as my coach and participate in the 4 grand slams of the year too! Well, it can be made possible if I have the MONEY, yes it all comes down to one point, $$. To put it in layman terms, it simply means, "NO MONEY, NO TALK". Moreover, he is a well known tennis player and hiring him as my coach is not that easy. Okay, it's all my wishful thinking though I did have the thought of becoming a tennis star like Federer, he's an inspiration! Alright, I swear I didn't mean to type one long and huge paragraph just about tennis and Federer, but I just did :P TOO BAD! Just kidding.


Boredom makes me hyper. Somehow my brain functions at a higher level of thinking when I am bored and I tend to come up with stupid and random thoughts that help to entertain myself. That just made me sound like a lunatic. It's okay, I am crazy and hyper. I am BORN THIS WAY! Whee~ Lady Gaga! I'm addicted to one song right now by JUSTIN BIEBER. It's called "Born To Be Somebody". It's an inspiring song, try listening to it folks! I just realized I mentioned 2 song titles with the word "born" in it, awesome much! I've just proven that I can be a random person T_T I need to change that so that my randomness will not scare people away! Alright, that's all for being random for the time being. 12.46pm, I'm out! xoxo ( I'm not really out, I'm still home, ummm, I'm done posting? Yes, it means that <---- )

Mission Accomplished.

I'm such a massive blogger user! Not only that, I'm also a massive Twitter and Facebook user! I use Twitter to update my status and retweet tweets, Facebook for my games and to chat with my friends, and lastly, blogger to share my stories. I'm having my dinner currently and updating my blog at the same time makes me look even more like a "blogger addict". At least all these are good addictions, to a certain extent of course. I hope my spectacles will not increase tremendously, but in any case, I'm going to get a new pair of glasses soon, when I return to KL. My hometown is my shopping paradise! 

I'm feeling super awesome tonight because I went for a nice jog earlier on. I like the aftermath feeling of it, and I like it most when there's wind to accompany me! I'm starting to enjoy jogging. I used to dislike jogging because my stamina is super weak, so I never really did like it. What made me change my mind was that, I came to realised that jogging can be a "beautiful form" of exercise because I get to enjoy the scenic view as I jog, it's amazing! I'm just gonna take it slowly and improve on my stamina. Wish me luck, because a fortune telling once said that the only bad point about me is that I don't have perseverance O_O which is kinda true to a certain extent, so in order for me to complete my jogging course, I need to have ultra mental strength and of course, my music! 

Oh, and I have been really really obsessed with ROGER FEDERER recently! He's a beast when it comes to tennis, everything of him regarding tennis is just perfect. He just goes so well with tennis, his strokes, serves and footworks etc seem to be mastered perfectly! I love the match that he played against Juan Monaco, his was having a "aces-feast" against his opponents, 12 aces in 3 sets! Kudos to him! His ground-strokes were powerful, his footworks were super stable and firm, and of course, being a single handed backhand player, his backhand strokes were commendable! I just like the way he play, he has this very unique style of playing, sometimes being aggressive and sometimes playing defense. I hope he can continue his journey in US Open 2011 and fight all the way to the final and win the title! 

Actually, in any sport, the ranking isn't really that important and it's not the most significant factor in determining the result of a match. A world number one can lose to a player that has a rank way below of him. It's about the player himself/herself. I've witnessed this several times in US Open 2011. Third seed, Sharapova lost to Penetta who is ranked 26, and Mofiils ranked 7 lost to a someone who isn't ranked. Like most people said, the ball is round, and the results can always be shocking and surprising! Oh wow, I sound so philosophical, rare moment! :P 

In any case, this year's US Open is really exciting, with the top3 world ranked players competing in the quarterfinals. I will have to catch the matches in 2 hours time, hopefully it isn't raining in NY or I will be disappointed that the matches have to be cancelled again, which happened last night (GMT +8). Either way, good luck to all the players who are in the quarterfinals! Keep fighting! Whee~ 

Angry Bird.

Whee~ I went to Watson just to get the Angry Bird water bottle because my cousin said it's being sold there, I feel like a little kid now, but I don't care, I love my new water bottle! My sister and I love Angry Bird and my sister is a bigger fan than me since she has key chains and stuff, I only have one water bottle. Kinda pathetic, but I'm happy! I got one for my sister and now we have the same water bottle. In order to differentiate our water bottles, I changed to colour of the metal hook (I don't know what is that called). So now, her water bottle has the red hook whereas mine has the blue one. I'm just smart! Just kidding! I don't want to write my name on it because it makes me feel like I am still studying in pre-school or primary school where my name can be seen on all my items.

So my mum will be back on Friday which means my freedom will be once again restricted. I wanted to get a nice cardigan just now when I was out getting the water bottle, but it is priced at $35 even after discount. I don't want to get a lashing from my mum if I get it, plus, I can get one when I head back to KL. I just need to be a little more patient and wait till I reach KL, that's when my shopping time starts! I have so many things I wanna buy over there, especially clothes since I am running out of them for school. Poor me! I'm gonna contradict myself now. I want my mum to come back earlier so I can have my pair of Converse shoes and that I don't have to wake up every morning at 8am just to complete the housework, but on the other hand, I don't want her to come back too quickly so that I can enjoy my life and laugh like a crazy girl in the middle of the night. Oh well, as long as she comes back safe and sound together with my dad and sister, I'm happy.

I am still worrying over my exam results, hopefully I won't do too badly because honestly, I didn't put in a lot of effort in studying. I can say that I didn't really study, which pretty much happened in most of my exams, even during O levels. I'm aiming for at least a 3.2 GPA or somewhere around there and I'm satisfied since I'm not smart or whatsoever. I can't wait to know my results~

Shall "show off" my water bottle now~ It's nothing too fancy, exquisite or unique. It's just a plain, flat, fold-able (according to the description), red water bottle. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, it has ANGRY BIRD on it! I just got the Angry Bird fever! ( Or call it the Bird fever, since there's Bieber fever, why not? (; )

Look at the Angry Bird, it's so sexy and adorable! And the red colour is just stunning! Oh wait, that's the blue "hook" I was talking about earlier. I have no idea what it's called O_O

I'm gonna have my dinner soon, and head for jogging later in the evening with my cousin. MISSION EXERCISE FOR A HEALTHIER BODY! Peace out, everyone! xoxo

Home Alone.

Yep, I'm gonna be home alone till Friday, 'cause that's when my parents are going to be back home and I will turn into a restricted bird again. I should really enjoy my life without adults at home. There're so many things that I can do without my parents, but still, the housework part sucks a little. Oh well, there's always pros and cons to every situation. At least I am enjoying myself  with my cousins, doing crazy and stupid things.

So.. I was actually warned by my mum not to go out with my friends and not to use the stove to cook anything. Well, for the first don't that she said, I didn't break it 'cause she do spot check like every 3 hours. She will just randomly call me and ask me where I am, and since she is getting me a new pair of Converse shoes, I really don't wanna lie to me, moreover, I don't have the money to go out with my friends anyway. Staying at home can be pretty boring at times, so I am constantly searching for new activities to do. Well, for the second warning regarding the cooking part, I'm sorry mum, I used to stove today to prepare a bowl of instant noodles for myself. It's just a packet of noodles, so I don't think she will realised it, and I wanted to add an egg into it, but she will find out that an egg is missing because the egg tray was full when she left. Oh well, so I went "ingredients hunting" in the fridge, and I found meatballs! Ha, I was so elated, at least I don't have to eat plain instant noodles! It's always good to have some extra ingredients to make it more delicious!

Holiday is a period of time when people tend to eat more than usual, which result in the amount of fats multiplying at a faster rate, of course, this does not apply to everyone, but being the unlucky one, I am one of them. I am getting fatter, and I don't want to get overweight. Somewhere in the line I actually got the motivation to go jogging and to my amazed, I jogged for the longest in my entire life. I'm pretty surprised of the amount of motivation I have for today! I'm proud of myself of course, because I have never liked jogging. It is one of the sports that I don't do often. Well, I have to say that it feels pretty awesome having to perspire after a good jog with the wind accompanying you. And thank you to my cousin who walked/jogged/ran/sprinted alongside of me just to keep me accompanied, I really appreciate it! After the run, I wasn't really that tense or stressed up anymore. It feels good, so I guess I will head for jogging again tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Alright, I think I am going to head to bed early tonight. I slept at around 315am last night and woke up at 730am just to wake my cousin up so that she can prepare and head to school. Waking up early is like a must when my mum is not around because there's just so much housework to be done in a day, and I can totally comprehend my mother's effort in making the house neat, clean and tidy! It's not an easy job to be a housewife. Kudos to my mum and all the lovely mums in the world who dedicate most of their time and effort in handling the family issues and keeping the house clean! You guys are indeed the toughest women on Earth!

Sleepless Night.

I can't really sleep tonight mainly because I have too many thoughts running in my mind and of course, the internet connection is keeping me awake since my parents are not home. It has been such a long time since I use the computer at such late hours. I have no idea what's on my mind, it just feels like I've got a lot of sorting our to do, and many problems are arising, one after another. I think the way I handle issues are really wrong and they often lead to even worse problems. Those thoughts and problems are suffocating me and I feel like I'm drowning in everything, and I'm fighting for survival with every breath I have, with all the strength I have. Sometimes, I really have to urge to give up everything in life, and just lead a life that is filled with negativity..

What's wrong with me? Why am I losing so many people in my life? Why can't I save the friendships that I treasure? Why do I have to make people go through pain? There are just so many questions on my mind, and for all these, I can never find the exact answer, the only answer that I know and I can think of, is actually just me. I am the cause of everything, the way I talk, the way I handle problems/issues, they way I do things, they way I treat people. Slowly, one by one, everyone is gonna leave me, because they will then realise, being with me will create troubles and problems for themselves so I guess it's better than I keep a distance from everyone.. A safe distance, but how safe is really safe? No matter what, I still have to face the reality one day. I'm just going to accept that everything's my fault, which no doubt, it is, and I will never disagree to it.

Looking back, I've lose many friends, and for this, I will never be able to call myself "a friend that you can treasure for life", but hey, I've tried, I've tried to fight for what I can.. I really did. This year is probably the worst year that I ever had, O level year is not even this torturing or suffering. I'm losing the precious ones in my life, losing the people I care, losing the people I love, losing the people I treasure. No, I don't want this to happen, and I'm already trying to change.. But why am I not given the time to? It's not like I can change instantly when I want to, I will probably take a long period of time. Or is it that I have not try enough to make the change happen? I've used all the energy that I have to change myself for the better. I'm constantly reminding myself to think for others first before making any decisions or making me any remarks, I don't want to lose anymore friends.. Each and everyone of them is important to me, very important. Their presence and absence can really affects me, especially the few close friends that I have in class..

Life is getting worse each day, and I hope that I can have the strength to pull through and bring everything back to normal. And for everything that I've done, I'm truly sorry. I know no amount of apologies can make up the degree of hurt and pain I've put you through, but that's all I can say. You're someone whom I cherish and treasure, and you're important in my life because you are my very good friend. I don't know how I can convince you, but I will try...

2.34am and awake, the troubles never go away.. they never fades, they remain. It's no surprise I won't be there tomorrow..

Uneasy.

Today wasn't that bad as it seems it may be, but honestly, it is the toughest time that I have to go through. Not because I have to admit my mistakes, but because I have to bring back the pain that I've caused to a good friend of mine. If she didn't tell me the truth, I would probably still think that I'm the only one who is feeling the pain and hurt. Having to think of it, nothing like this would happen if it wasn't for me, all my selfish acts, thinking that it's the right thing to do. I guess I'm fully, entirely responsible for this incident, and I accept all the consequences that are going to come my way.

I always thought that I'm someone who can really put myself in other people's shoes and think of their feelings before doing anything, guess everything has proven me that I'm totally the opposite. I don't want things to turn out this way, why the hell am I so dumb to let it slip out of my mouth and blew everything. Why Elaine, why are you so stupid?! I always make it a point to care for others' feelings, why didn't I do it this time? Maybe I'm just this selfish, only caring for myself, yes, I am. I need to admit it and accept this fact because I am not as good as I think I am.. I'm angry at myself for committing such a foolish and stupid mistake which costs me a good and strong friendship that I really treasure. I'm this stupid, this dumb to do such things. I can't turn back time even though things are fine now, but somehow, my conscience still bugs me every moment, and the guilt in me, it will never go away. All I feel is guilt, and I have no idea what I can do,all I can do to make it better is to apologize sincerely, that's all I can give right now. The guilt builds up everyday, every minute, and somehow no matter how I try to convince myself, it's not gonna go away. Why am I feeling this way, because I feel like I've owe my friend too much, and whatever I do can never make up the words I've said, and the things that I've done. It feels like my life is so screwed up.

Things seem to be alright now, but I can see that something is missing. I know it's really hard for us to be good friends like how we used to, but we can be a whole new pair of good friends who understands each other and give each other the support that we need. It's been a rocky journey, and I want to remove all the "rocks" in the path.. With the guilt that I'm experiencing, it's gonna be another round of struggle for me. I will never forgive myself, NEVER. How can I ever forgive myself for all that I've done, I hate myself. I despise myself... I can never be able to forgive myself, and my conscience will always make me feel uneasy.

The Sky Outside My World.

I love taking pictures of the sky. It's just pretty and everyday, it has different patterns and colours, especially during sunset. Sadly, I can only take pictures outside my house since I don't really go out during evening. Looks like it's time for me to go out during evening and capture more shots of the beautiful sky! I want to travel around Singapore and take pretty shots on landscape since that has always been my interest. I need to get more lens for my camera, and read up on photography~ I think photography is a cool interest and hobby! So I'm just going to post a few pictures here which are my favourites. 

As seen from above, I'm not a professional photographer, I snap pictures for my own interests and to capture memorable moments ^-^ I love photography! Peace out! xoxo

Regrets.

"Everybody's got that one regret, no matter how they try, they can't forget" This is a song lyrics taken from David Arcuhleta's Things Are Gonna Get Better. I love this song because it's very meaningful and inspiring. Well, true enough, everyone has their own regrets in life, and since it's called regrets, I guess it will just remain the way it is. I have a few regrets in life and I really hope that I will stop regretting in life and make wise decisions that I will not regret in the future. The feeling of regretting something that you've done or should have done is really unpleasant. You will just keep harping on it, even so, there's nothing much you can do.

My biggest regret in life is not spending more time with my grandparents who are living in KL. It has been such a long time since they've left this world. I came over to Singapore to study when I was young, and because of this, I don't really have much time to go back to KL and visit them. Now that they are no longer here, I really feel empty inside and regret not doing my part to spend more time with them. They really dote on me very much and the memories I have with them are priceless. Ever since they've passed away, I have not visited them, and for this, I truly feel sorry and regret. I don't wanna give myself excuses, but whenever my mum goes back and pay them a visit, it's either exam period for me or I'm still schooling. The timing's just this bad. I feel like I've failed as their granddaughter. My grandparents mean the world to me, be it whether they are alive or not. And since I'm going to go back KL this month, I will request my aunt to accompany me to visit my grandparents. I miss them badly..

It's always hard to deal with the feelings and emotions you will experience when your closest kin passed away, the feelings can never be described using words and it's just tough to explain it. My grandparents' death was a huge blow to me and till now, I can still feel every single inch of sadness and pain that's in me. Just a few years back, my mum suddenly spilled out the beans that my biological dad is dead. I couldn't react to her because it was way too sudden and I have no idea what to say. Yet another kin has left me.. My parents divorced when I was just a little kid, and I can't really recall much of the things about my dad and the memories that we've spent are gradually fading. I have no idea what's the cause of my dad's death, but according to my mum, she told me that my dad got shot by a policeman. This means that my dad actually committed something against the law, which brought upon his death. I'm not quite sure if this is the truth, because it's only one side of the story from my mum. Though I really want to know the truth badly, I never dare to ask my mum about it lest she gets all sensitive and upset. I have no idea where he is being buried at, and I hated the fact that my parents divorced because since then, I never got to see my dad anymore, not even the chance to talk to him on the phone. It just seems like he has completely vanished from my life.. Though I don't have many memories with him, I still miss him dearly and no matter what he has done, he is my dad after all. I still love him.

Of course, there is many regrets in my life and the above mentioned 2 are the ones that have the greatest impact on me. I regret hurting the people whom I love with my actions and words, making them feel hurt and pain. I regret not studying well during secondary school. I regret leaving someone who loves me wholeheartedly just because I'm selfish. I regret saying things that I should never have said to a good friend of mine. I regret for not seeing doctor whenever I have injuries which caused my bones to be weird. All these small little regrets in life make me realised that I've made many wrong and unwise decisions in the past. I really hope I can change this and minimise the regrets I have in life. One can never live without regrets. They serve as a platform for us to be a better person and teach us to make wise decisions. I'm still on the journey of becoming a better person.

Issues.

I hate being at home during weekends because my house is packed with kids, and my parents' friends, which makes me feel like my house is being invaded. Most importantly, my actions are pretty restricted because they are guests after all, so it's not wise to have any impolite or unacceptable actions at home. It's totally screwed. What is there for me to do despite the fact that I hate having so many people at home? I don't really a share in my opinions at home anyway, so whatever I think or feel really don't matter to anyone.

Anyway, I've been listening to really nice piano instrumental songs recently and I must say, piano produces the most soothing and calm melody ever. It may be a good idea that I keep some songs in my iPod or phone so I can listen to them whenever I'm feeling mad or tense. I'm honestly having those "I don't know how I feel" days, because I have mixed emotions every now and then, and it seems to me that I really have no idea what I'm really feeling inside. It has become another whole complex issue for me again. Looks like I need some time off and really sort out my thinking. I need to get out of house as soon as I can, I have been coping in at home ever since holidays started, only for that one day when I went out with my cousin. I'd rather go to school than to stay at home, at least I get to go all crazy and hyper with my friends. Staying at home is like living in hell for me >.< totally dislike it. 

I don't really know what to blog about now, so I'm off to Facebook games! Yes, I have a great addiction towards some of the games there, and probably gonna spam Twitter, that's my part time job. Have fun everyone!

Kiddie.

So, I've decided to post some of my childhood photos here, when I'm still a carefree, adorable kid. Just kidding about the adorable part! :D 

Okay, I still think I look adorable when I'm a little kid~ Whee, and my cousin's child was born on Hari Raya and the kid became a celebrity over time! The entire country will be celebrating her birthday with her every year in Malaysia, I've got a celebrity family member :P