Behind That Smile.

Have you ever wonder how someone's live is behind the smile that they put on everyday? A smile can hide a thousand emotions, I totally agree with it :) Some people can fake it off quite well with a smile, just a smile and they can cover all their troubles and problems. At times, a smile is put on to help someone overcome the pain or just avoid it. Oh well.. Why am I even talking about this? That's because someone told me that I'm becoming unapproachable recently, and for the matter of fact, I don't disagree with that person, in fact, I agree :) I know I'm becoming more and more antisocial recently, it's really okay. I like being alone now, just me, myself, in my own world. Don't ask me why, because it just happens, and I know everything happens for a reason, and that reason will never be revealed :)

I don't understand why people say I'm troubled, I don't understand why people can't trust me when I said I am alright. Yes, maybe I'm really troubled, but when I said I'm okay, I mean it. I just need that trust because I can handle the matter, if I can't, I would have already collapsed long time ago. I have a thousand over worries, I have a thousand thoughts going on my mind at one go, sometimes putting them into words is not enough to help me overcome whatever I'm feeling. In any case, it's not a serious or huge matter, it's just a decision I made, so I have to bear the consequences of it :) I'm leading my life as how I should now, so I really hope that nothing interferes with it right now. When the time is right, everything will come to an end.

I prefer to stay at home, and not go out unless there's a real need for me to do so. I just want to draw a line between myself and the others as of now. I'm getting more and more antisocial, I don't want this to affect others in any way, so what not just stay at home and spend my time in my room? I think being antisocial is good at times, people don't approach you, people don't ask your questions about your life, you are on your own. You don't have to be responsible for others, you don't have to account for others about your own troubles and issues, it's good to me as of now.

There's a Chinese song lyrics that really catches my attention and I really like it, so I will just share it here.

"不想面对我的痴狂，不想正视我的荒唐，

假装没受过伤，错与痛一个人承担，

不愿意自己揭穿那是我对自己的惩罚."